The Sarcastic Intellectual's Halloween Picks #5

Halloween is HERE!

1) The Mad Butcher
-About a butcher....

2) The Omen II: Damien
-Known for the infamous elevator death - check it out.

3) The Thing
-A John Carpenter Masterpiece.

4) Alien
-Very very interesting.

5) The House That Dripped Blood
-About a house and its many occupants.

6) Leatherface
-The final in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre series.

7) Freddy vs Jason
-This one is pretty good.

8) The Grudge
-Funny & hilarious. No plot @ all.

9) The Fog
-They are making a remake of this.

10) Nosferatu
-Just check it out.

11) The Exorcist
-There really are evil forces, you know?

Top 10 Murderers
1) Jason Voorhees (Friday The 13th)
2) Norman Bates (Psycho)
3) Michael Myers (Halloween)
4) Chucky (Child's Play)
5) The Creature (Graveyard Shift)
6) Freddy Kruger (Nightmare On Elm Street)
7) The Puppets (Puppet Master)
8) Leatherface (Texas Chainsaw Massacre)
9) Belial (Basket Case)
10) Damien (The Omen)

Life has many parts, do they taste good like pumpkin pie & candy corn?

untitled #1

-So first lady Bush was on campus today. Happy Happy Joy Joy! What on Earth did she come here for someone please let me know? The campus security decided to do their job for once and block off certain areas so someone couldn't hurt the lady. Protesters did get in however, which wasn't surprising with the toy cops and all. I am still wondering why the university decided to invite her as if she is some kind of icon or something. Nope, sorry, she is far from it. Supposedly there was an 85% chance that Bush would have come too. That would have been interesting - a Republican who doesn't care about Blacks on a Black campus. Kind of odd wouldn't you say?

-I have gotten back into throwback rock lately. I have culled some rock songs from yesteryear - my yesteryear that is. I am going to make a playlist similar to XM Radio's Ethel. I have listened to everything from Edwin Mccain's "I Could Not Ask For More" to Live's "Lakini's Juice," and of course the throwback of throwback's No Doubt's "Just A Girl." I remember when Tragic Kingdom first came out. For many people I knew at the time, it was the first cd that they bought. I do not recall my first CD - I think it was jazz though. When I was just starting to get into jazz music - smooth jazz not the Duke Ellington/Art Tatum stuff. I like today's rock songs too. I particularly am a fan of Howie Day and Switchfoot as well as DMB, although they are not too new like the other two. "Collide" (Day) and "Stars" (Switchfoot) are my favorite rock songs @ the moment partly because they are great. I am also a fan of Jason Mraz and The Click Five.

-39 days til I take a drive to the Lou. How fun? 16 hours in a car - woo hoo! Can't wait. Actually i can't wait. My father tells me after I take my last final I will breathe a sigh of relief that it's over - for now. I cannot wait though, you should see my excitement or can you tell that I am smiling thinking about the day when I get on the highway and drive away from this place. This place that has taught me so much about people, especially my Black people and myself. I have become a stronger individual who will have a difficult time trusting people in the future even with the spirit of discernment people can still fool ya. Besides, I need to put some miles on mi automobile. I've had it a few years and only have about 8 thousand or so miles on it. Partly because I refuse to drive to trivial places and plus DC doesn't have too much to offer me. So, it is time to break my car in. One month 2 go!

-Miers stepped down? Wow, that's shocking. I guess her non-judicial background was enough to make her step down. Too bad though cause now Bush Jr. has to nominate another candidate. Since he is in the mood to nominate non-judicial people, how about Heidi Klum or Paris Hilton, or Ron Jeremy, better yet Flava Flav or Marky Mark - they would all make interesting judicial judges wouldn't you say. Bring a lil excitement 2 the Supreme Court. They'd sure give America a run for their money.

-BET is turning 25 or rather they turned 25 already and they are having a celebration on Tuesday. That will probably be the only time I'll be watching BET (say that as one word not letter by letter). BET has just gotten worse and worse - with little umph. Music videos 24/7 is just not wat's hot in these streets but then again not too much is.

Life has many parts, fly some of them to the moon.

The Sarcastic Intellectual's Halloween Picks #4

....Halloween is only a few days away....

1) Child's Play 2
-There is nothing like a sequel.

2) Friday The 13th VIII
-This is the one where Jason kills in New York.

3) The Shining
-Here's Johnny!!

4) Hellraiser
-One of the most talked about horror movies ever.

5) The Ring
-Interesting, more thriller than horror.

6) Blacula
-One of the most funniest horror movies.

7) Scream 2
-The scene at the beginning is classic.

8) Blair Witch Project
-What a hoax this movie was.

9) The Craft
-This one is bizarre.

10) Graveyard Shift
-A movie about a creature that resides in the bottom of a factory that was once a graveyard. Stephen King at his finest.

Millions More Movement & Millions More Television Shows On DVD

-So last weekend was the Millions More Movement and I didn't go. I did watch it on CSPAN though since I didn't make it. I had to work. Work is certainly more important than listening to dynamic speakers on television declare that Black people are going to take the world by the throat. I am curious as to how much we as a people will do. I mean we've sat around and taken it so long I think my people have grown accustomed to being treated any kind of way. I wonder how many of those Black people who stood out there actually are going to do anything. Of course, I could be wrong because I wasn't there. But I think that we are so concerned as who owes us what that we fail to see that we cannot rely on what other people will and will not do for us. Sure we are owed money for all of the brutality that was done to us over the years of slavery and even now, but we cannot keep demanding money from the government partly because the government could care less about our concerns. Bush was probably laughing watching us organize on television. We have organizations and people who will take handouts and under the table bribes to just to be shut up. I wonder how much of a movement will happen now. We shall see. They asked each and everyone of us to send in a dollar and the day we send in the money - fast. I have only fasted once in my life, and that was about two months ago. I think I can fast more than that though since fasting is essential to the human body and the spirit. So we shall see how much of a movement happens....won't we.

-There seems to be a rush to put television shows on DVD. I am still awaiting the release of Martin, Living Single, New York Undercover, A Different World (which by the way is due out in November) and a few others like Amen, and Roc. I mean they have put things on DVD like Dallas, The Brady Bunch, One Tree Hill (which hasn't been out long) and Laguna Beach (which is rubbish). It seems like they don't know what to put out on DVD so they just put something out. What is going on? Can I get some good television shows on DVD? I mean sure they put The Jeffersons on DVD and Alfred Hitchcock Presents but I need the shows mentioned earlier to be on DVD. I think it's another ploy by the white man to have us record them on videotape (does anyone even use them anymore) and pay for television shows that suck. I bet someone went out and bought Survivor on DVD and Bob Newhart, but I sure won't.

Life has many parts, I put some on hold and in storage.

The Sarcastic Intellectual's Halloween Picks #3

....A few more picks....

1) Amityville Horror
-The original is the best.

2) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre *New
-The redo was good, but not as good as the original.

3) Creepshow
-Stephen King is behind this one.

4) Halloween 3: The Season of The Witch
-This one does not involve Michael Myers but masks that destroy brains.

5) Nightmare On Elm Street: Freddy's Revenge
-The 3rd in the series. This one involves the infamous tv death.

6) Misery
-Not necessary horror, but still worth adding to the list.

7) Friday The 13th Part III
-Another one of the ones in the series.

8) Scream
-This one is destined to be a classic.

9) Saw
-This movie is good.

10) Psycho
-Classic Alfred Hitchcock.

Life has many parts, some of mine have been classic.

The Sarcastic Intellectual's Halloween Picks #2

.....Halloween is right around the corner....

1) House of Wax
-Classic Vincent Price.

2) The Dentist
-This movie will make you think twice about going to the dentist.

3) Def by Temptation
-An urban horror classic.

4) Friday The 13th - A New Beginning
-This one is a classic because Jason did not kill anyone in this, it was a copycat.

5) Leprechaun
-A horrifying movie about leprechauns.

6) Cujo
-The twisted film about a killer dog.

7) Puppet Master
-A movie about a puppet maker who creates killer puppets.

8) Child's Play
-There is nothing like the original Chucky movie.

9) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part II
-This movie will make you never want to eat chilli again.

10) Nightmare on Elm Street: Dream Master
-A notable 'Nightmare' movie, one of the best out of the seven.

Life has many parts, live them on the edge.

Mysterion

One of the mysterious things about life is that you remember things that you didn't even know you picked up. For example, Howard has finally enlightened its students on giving us access to TVOne - it was long overdue; and I was watching Roc tonight and started singing the theme song. It shocked me, partly because I haven't seen Roc since I was in elementary school and I somehow picked up on the theme song and it is stored somewhere in my long term memory. I wonder what else is in my memory that I can pull out when needed or necessary. Another interesting thing is how you remember events that took place over your life. I constantly am reminded of experiences just by glancing at certain eps of tv shows or listening to a certain song. I think for the most part, memory is quite a mystery because often times the mind does not hold onto things that it needs to hold onto - where was my memory when I needed to get a decent grade on my Finance exam? I could have gotten a better grade had my mind gotten marinated in the concepts of amoritization and time value, but instead it was hung up on creating radio spots and studying for the LSAT. Other things are mysteries too: for example, the false prophets on television who ask you to send in a $2,500 tithe. Who does that? No....reader - WHO??? I am curious as to the sucker who hands over that amount of money to a false prophet. What is even more of a mystery is how people can scam in the name of God? That is striking to me - but God shall take care of that, but I do find it a mystery. Is $$$ so importante to them that they need to steal it from people looking for miracles. That is like the person on the street pretending to be homeless, which many do - deceitful and dishonest. Mystery is a fascinating thing. People are so fascinated by it that they invented a genre of books & movies on it. Many writers and movies come to mind when I look @ the world mystery like James Patterson or "The Maltese Falcon." I think that mysterion will forever be an interesting thing to me because there is so much mystery in mystery.

Life has many parts, but it's also a mystery.

Poetry Corner

Cloudy emotions stir up,
Unnecessary devotion,
Cataclysmic reprocussions,
Muster up much discussion,
The anguish and pain,
Do not seem to abstain,
The nostalgic underlying rage,
That seems to poke through the words on this page,
A fuzzy mind,
Filled with remnants and traces of manipulation,
But the events were purely a matter of interpretation,
The psyche is bound to subdue,
Fallacies instead of what is really true,
The potency of tears,
Cannot seem to clear,
The agony that is seems so far,
But is yet so near...
-KJ

Bloodwashed and sanctified,
Dead to sin and now alive,
Living as a child of the most high,
Believing that when I perish,
I will end up in the sweet by & by,
Filled with the Holy Ghost,
Trying to do right with passionate might,
Overlooked by almost everyone,
But not in HIS sight,
Enriching my mind with scriptures,
Looking at the world, that is now a different picture,
Being taken out of the comfort zone,
Lonely and alone in flesh,
Knowing that perseverance and strength will be birthed out of this test…
-KJ

The Sarcastic Intellectual's Halloween Picks #1

Since it is Halloween time, and I am a fan of horror movies - here are a few recommendations for horror movies to watch this Halloween. Of course, you have to start watching some earlier than Halloween.

1) Basket Case
-I first watched this about two years ago, it is about Siamese twins - one which is deformed that is going around killing people.

2) Mother's Day
-An unusual film about a diabolical mother and her two sons who live out in the woods.

3) Bloodsucking Freaks
-This movie will make you barf. It is about cannibals and a psychotic doctor who works with the cannibals.

4) The Omen
-This one is about the child of the devil and a family that adopts him.

5) Asylum
-A classic horror movie about a man who goes to work for an asylum, but in order to get the job he must figure out the owner, because the owner is apart of the asylum.

6) Friday The 13th
-Definitely a classic. I'm sure everyone has seen this.

7) Pinata: Survivor Island
-This movie is comical about a killer pinata.

8) Tales From The Crypt's Demon Knight
-A unique film about demons.

9) Jaws
-....no explaination necessary.

10) Night of The Living Dead *Original
-This movie is about zombies who come back from the dead.

Life has many parts, there are some scary ones.

Back 2 Whatcha Know

It has been pretty morbid lately with the change in weather. I have found comfort in the rain though – the sound of it slashing against my window really helps me sleep at night. I have been cooped up in my room for the past week or so doing a lot of thinking because that is what you do when you’re alone – think. I found that it is very meditational (is that a word?) That is why people do not like to be alone too long, because they start to think about the issues and problems in their life and they discover that everything is not always peachy. There is another reason I’ve been in my room, for the past week my wrist has been hurting badly. Luckily, I am finding some relief with a bottle of Bayer and Vitamin B6: (just in case it is carpal tunnel). I decided to go back to what I know – being the person I was before I came here. I have somehow become quite complacent in my everyday life. I have been trying to adapt to my environment and bond with folks – who do not deserve to be around me in general. You could say I have put myself on a high horse – but each and every one of us has the right to choose who we want to deal with. I was once asked if I act differently in Los Angeles, than I do in Washington, DC. I have a different attitude when I am in Los Angeles versus when I am here in DC – partly because people are just different here. You would think that all of these people who come to DC to get a quality education would want quality friendships but I have met some group of folks who make ruthless seem munificent. I wish I were young sometimes because I was definitely able to discern people better but I am grown now and can’t do some of the things I used to do. I wish I could redo some of the decisions I made over the past few years. They say not to have regrets and not to dread the day of small beginnings, but I’ve been treated more like trash these last three years than I have been appreciated. I have found that people do not value the people they come across. I have found that people will shake your hand and when you turn your back they talk negatively and scheme to use what you have. For the past three years I have been accepting and taking it and taking it and taking it and taking it – taking the manipulation, the usage, the backstabbing, but no more – I am going back to what I know and what I do best.

Life has many parts, sometimes you have to go back to whatcha know and whatcha know best.

The Crisis In The Mind

I have always been fascinated with the complexity of the mind. I have had to deal with many things in my life that the memories have left vestiges embedded in the crevices of my mind. The appealing thing about the mind is that is often houses things that it should forget and lets go of things that it should keep. The mind had me so fascinated that I set out to embark on majoring in psychology and even took a class on Cognition. I did not end up majoring in psychology, but I still have a love for the science. There are so many thoughts that run through the mind on a daily basis. Some of them are good, others are bad. If I told you some of the thoughts that have flowed through my head, your mouth would drop – but when the book is released you’ll get the opportunity to read all about my cluttered and jumbled thoughts. The purpose of this post is primarily to give me an opportunity to let some things go. I consider myself a good person, nice and laid back. Very reasonable even, so then why do I continue to hang around folk who are users, manipulators and want to control your every move? What is in me that is causing such rage to boil inside? There have been times where I’ve wanted to deliberately hurt someone for hurting me. But the thoughts have somehow receded like a wave in the ocean. They lie dormant. You could say all this stems from pain – the pain of putting trust and faith in people who are only out for themselves. I now have to deal with wasted “friendships” and experiences that could have been avoided had the garbage not crossed my path in the first place. I think of what my life would have been like had I made certain choices way back then. But reflection is just that – reflection. No need at dwelling in the past – one thing I can say for sure – I will be keeping people at a distance for a little while. A modest amount of discernment of people is something that I need to work on. You could say that we each have two sides to us: a good side and an evil side. I have had to suppress the evil side of myself for a long time and a few days ago I thought about letting the evil side out. The side that no one has seen since I’ve been in Washington, DC. I am a cool, calm and collected individual who takes and accepts most things, but I can be a downright devious and under minded human being who will find a way to repay those who’ve done me wrong. But there is no sense at me calculating revenge on someone – it is better for me to let it go and learn from it. But my mind won’t seem to let go of it. How do you simply put painful and shocking experiences to rest? It’s easier said than done, I guess most things are. How do you kill and forget the malicious thoughts that seem to overtake the benevolent thoughts? Especially me who is trying to redefine my life and become a better person in general. I feel as though I’ve been living my life beneath what I am capable of doing and that is partly me lessening myself and putting myself on a lower level to blend in the crowd – to sort of acquiesce in order to have people to hang out with and do things with because people do not always accept you for who you are. I have been called talked about for voicing my opinion or challenging people's attitudes and opinions. My mind has been playing tricks on me for the last three years – because there are times when I’ve felt alone and that I cannot rely on anyone here – then other times I’ve felt like I've had close people to talk to. Choosing associates who could be potential friends is like playing Russian Roulette. One bad move and you're dead. My mind is telling me that I am too trusting. I have been sheltered and nurtured in a suburban environment and hadn’t had to deal with much heartache so that makes me trusting towards underhandedness, ruthlessness and cutting edge impostors. Occasionally, I feel like my mind is playing tricks on me – perhaps I am perceiving things as though they are not. I see why people turn to the bottle or smoking or some other sort of bondage to drown their sorrows and grief in. It is to mask the crisis in the mind. The despotism of being a slave to your own thoughts and having to present a pristine image to keep from breaking down. I think that I would have done something foolish by now if it wasn’t for the mind regulator of all regulators – God, who keeps me at perfect peace through the crisis in my mind. The crisis is not yet over because the evil thoughts are still there but I sense the rage cooling off and me letting go of the shock, pain and rage that I feel about some of the choices I’ve made regarding the company I keep.

Life has many parts, sometimes I wish I could take some Cayenne Pepper and run some out of me.

Last songs to play on the iPod….
Live – Lakini’s Juice
Fall Out Boy – Sugar, We’re Goin Down
Sublime – What I Got
Nickelback – Photograph
White Stripes - My Doorbell
Pearl Jam – Animal
U2 – Vertigo
Hot Hot Heat – Middle of Nowhere
System of A Down – Chop Suey
Goo Goo Dolls - Name

Keeping Up Appearances Part Four: A Look In The Mirror

I had to take a good look at myself in the mirror and ask myself: do I like the person I see reflecting back @ me? I concluded, yes, mainly because it is important to have self-love. If you don’t love yourself, who will? The central purpose of this rather stupid experiment was to tackle the many jumbled thoughts that are floating around in my head regarding the many people I’ve encountered during my time on this Earth. I have been called everything from cocky to guarded to uptight – and I took a glance in the mirror today to see if I see these attributes that people have yoked onto me. As I said in the previous post, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The labels people place on you are some of the most atrocious things ever. People have their own perceptions, and they try to yoke that stuff on you. This is what damages people’s self-esteem and their perception of themselves. I have always said that people who talk about others have a psychological problem. I have smirked at a joke or two sure, but I can honestly admit that I’ve never been one to talk about people. It’s not in my nature, because I cannot stand people talking about me. It doesn’t bother me, but usually, people aren’t saying wonderful things. Most of the time it’s slander or destructive comments. You’d think that the person was the best thing since cornbread, but the grass is always greener on the other side. But most people do not acknowledge this concept. They drum up this appearance that becomes hardened overtime and it is hard to believe that there can be anything wrong with them. I have noticed that people cannot take what they dish out. They are quick to lash out a quick remark but I’ve found when you begin to describe their weaknesses they want to beat you down because people would rather misleading notions than truth, just like they’d rather have darkness than light. Then there are those people who you tell them something or ask them not to do something, and they act as if they haven’t heard you. Back during my freshman year, I was sitting in the health clinic waiting for a meningitis shot and the lady miscalled my name. My birth name is Kyle – but she misread it, saying Lyle and several associates of mine were around and heard it and they decided that that would be my nickname. After asking them not to call me that, they still sometimes let it slip out. It has become some kind of joke among them. Me, being the laid back and kind person that I am, has not cooked up some retributive name for them although in the ingenious roads in my mind – I’m sure I’d could have came up with something. I have come to the point now where it goes in one ear and out the other because I have found that people like to find out what pushes your buttons, but that is an entirely different subject for another post. For now I relish in loving myself and letting people’s comments go in one ear and out the other.

Keeping Up Appearances Part Three: A Real Thing & Not A Faux

We live in a world full of fakeness. Fake body parts, fake jewelry, and fake wallets, fake this, fake that. Is there anything real that exists in this world? We’ve even got imitation food in the grocery stores. Imitation is another word for fake just in case you didn’t catch that. Everything broadcast on television is fake. Most of the artists who create songs aren’t drawing from personal experience; they are fictitiously creating tight beats and catchy lyrics to grab a hold of the listener. You could say that the world is keeping up an appearance. An appearance that it is the best place or rather the happiest place on Earth, kind of like Disneyland, except one is persistently on a space mountain type ride of this thing called life and we are all high off of cotton candy. There is no peace in this world we live in, hell; we can’t even have peace in our own lives. We’ve got people struggling with alcohol, smoking, drugs, pornography, homosexuality, S&M, pedophilia, bestiality, bondage, caffeine, oral sex, candy, massages, okay maybe I’m getting a little carried away here, but you name it – there is a probably a struggle for it. There are even people who struggle with obesity. If you aren’t struggling, then you haven’t admitted you have an issue. Everyone struggles. Now, I can tolerate the struggles I named but a struggle with food - you gotta know when you put down that Krispy Kreme doughnut or that greasy Popeye’s chicken thigh. We as a country seem to keep up this miraculous appearance in order to portray a false image to the world. To mask our problems we drown ourselves in the television, frivolous magazines and when we are not doing that we are trying to malign others and expose their fakeness. It’s quite interesting when you think about how much time we spend on keeping up appearances in this world – in order to please others. Who or what is so important where one needs to spend x amount of $ on a new nose. Is the image you see in the mirror that debilitating? I could blame the media for its textbook portrayals of beauty – whatever that is. Last time I remember beauty was in the eye of the beholder or am I just an old soul quoting old wives tales and phrases. You tell me. When I begin to look further into this topic, I find that everyone is so worried about everyone else, that they aren’t worried about themselves. That phrase is a la Jack Johnson’s Wasting Time. There is even a craze to see who can wear the best clothes – this is why we strive to purchase that new Armani jacket or Cole Haan shoes or that new dress from Banana Republic or skirt from whatever shop that is overpriced and drawing mula out of that fake alligator skin wallet of yours. The world is just phony – I have to question what is real? I really do – besides emotions, those are real. That’s one true real thing in this world. You know what it means to cry, laugh, smile, love, slander, etc. With these counterfeit appearances comes judgment and envy. Often times, we confuse jealousy with envy. I advise you to look up the difference in a Webster’s. Again, that is everyone so conscious of what other people’s opinions are that they have resorted to fakeness to blend and mix. The world is full of copies, but I wonder where an original is. I am not exempt from this – I have tried to impress people before, and if you say you haven’t, you are lying to yourself. All have tried to blend in and impress. But I continue to ponder this, as I put on my Polo button-down, Nautica jeans and Lugz shoes – all stuff that doesn’t match – gotta be a little different from the brother who’ll be sitting across from me in my Humanities class. It’s better to be a real thing than a faux.

Keeping Up Appearances Part Two: What Is Hidden Must Come To The Light

An inherent breath flows out of my mouth as I begin to contemplate how to approach writing this second post on “Keeping Up Appearances;” this one being titled, “What Is Hidden Must Come To The Light.” The quandary still remains about relationships and friendships one has with certain individuals. What draws one to another? Why do certain people just click, so to speak? Is it the same interests, perhaps the same goals and dreams? I started to ponder these questions and found that there are answers to all three of them. For the first one, it may be linked somewhat to the third; however the second one demands more explanation. I do not believe people just click - there is a reason why we meet certain people. Why certain people enter our lives? As the saying goes, “everything happens for a reason.” It is up to us the people we want in our lives however; meaning it is up to us for how long we want to deal with certain individuals. People sometimes attract people who have their same interests, others attract those of the same economic status, it all depends on the situation that one has been placed in. It is important therefore, to get to know the kind of people you are dealing with before becoming entrenched or hung up on a group of people. This allows you to make the choice as to whether you want to deal with certain individuals or not – but often times, people parade around keeping up appearances and it is up to you to reveal what is hidden. The mystery here is that you have to meditate on what is hidden. Since 99.9% of the American population is out for self, you always have to ask yourself what good are these relationships doing to me. What am I gaining from these individuals? Are these individuals helping me or are they diminishing me as a person? These questions allow one to seriously think about the people they have. Unfortunately the mediation does not come until an event or situation causes you to question who you are dealing with and thus bring what is hidden into the light. By doing this, you are forcing yourself to confront the peculiarities that the individuals exhibited towards you. There is always that little inkling or portrayal that one gives that makes you say “hmm.” There are people who say that they’ll be friends forever and this and that, but that term is used so loosely that when you do not fit one’s concepts or programs, they are quick to turn on you. When you do not acquiesce to what they feel you should do for them, then they are quick to leave you hanging. You have to begin to ask yourself what kind of person you have really been dealing with because all of these emotions are stirred up: resentment, remorse, guilt and like I heard from a poignant spiritual preacher, Bishop Noel Jones, “you know you are in the hands of a master anytime you feel bad about what they’ve done to you.” Therefore, one must be on guard about the people they draw unto them and attract. Therefore, you must uncover the people you are dealing with to see if they are truly on your side or whether they are just along for the ride to zap the very character you’ve built for yourself right out of you.

Keeping Up Appearances Part One: Parasites & Leeches

Warning: This post might be interpreted as being very harsh, but it is merely me allowing myself to put closure on certain things.

I have found in all my years of schooling that there is this proclivity of people to pretend or keep up phony pretenses. We are brainwashed at an early age to wear a mask and hide behind it. No one is capable of being themselves – because we are so focused on what others think about us. We use this mask when we search for friendships and relationships with others. People begin to attach to the mask we wear and thus when something changes or challenges their predilection of what they are use to they are quick to exit our presence. Recently, I made the decision that I needed to rid myself of dead weight – which has been talked about in many of the past posts. There are things that people do that make you question their relationship with you. How much do we value the relationships we have with people? As many readers know, I decided to throw a birthday party about a week and a half after my birthday and I gave advance notice to several people who I wanted to come and many invitations were confirmed. Now, of course, you cannot be mad at the fact that people do not show up to your celebration but you can question how they approach not coming. One person whose relationship I valued decided to take a blasé and rather uncouth approach by telling someone else who was going to the party that she could not make it. That approach was rather questionable – at least in my eyes it was – because the person has a tendency or had a tendency to call me when the person needed to go to Target or the grocery store and did not have the decency to call me and let me know. Instead the person had to circumvent the situation by going through another person. You might say I am blowing this all out of proportion and that’s fine – but put yourself in my shoes. It might just make you question this relationship you have with this person. How close are we exactly? People do not always realize what they are doing until they do but I have a distinct thought that the person knew exactly what they was doing. Now again, it was not the fact that the person did not come – but it was how it was handled. What I’ve found through my 21 years on this Earth is that you are always there for people, but they seem to be absent when you need them? So has this person been keeping up appearances all this time, by using the niceness that I exhibit to their benefit. I began to look more closely at people and began observing people more and more and I have found that good people are hard to come by. But then again I have to factor into the equation that often times people do not rehearse their actions before they do them. Perhaps, I am the only one who has this perception, but I highly doubt it. The keeping appearances issue then has to be predicated on the advantages that a person has. Why pretend with someone if you cannot use them to your advantage? There is no need to consult or deal with someone who you cannot use. I began to search far & wide at the parasites and leeches I seem to be attracting in my life considering many of the so-called friends I have are. This brings up a point that I’ve brought up in previous posts: is there such a thing as friendship? Well, I truly believe – No. I believe that you attract people around you that you can do things with that have the potential of being a long time associate but I do not believe friendships exist. You could possibly say that my reasoning stems from the events and experiences that I have gone through dealing with leeches and parasites. I had to question myself as to the types of people I attract and determine if there is something within me that is attracting manipulators, users and calculating individuals. I found that there is nothing within me – it is just that people take kindness for weakness and prey upon. I was once called guarded – which I’ve always thought was interesting. I could surmise that this guardedness has come from people diabolically twisting my nice and laid back personality as some type of crippling trait of mine.

Life has many parts......you win some parts, you lose some parts.