Sunday, July 31, 2005

The Sarcastic Intellectual's 100 R&B Jams (List 2)

Another simple list of R&B jams....

1) Erykah Badu - Otherside of The Game
2) Changing Faces - GHETTOUT
3) Chante Moore - It's Alright
4) Boyz II Men - Water Runs Dry
5) TLC - Hat 2 Da Back
6) Montell Jordan - Get It On Tonite
7) SWV - Can We
8) Jodeci - Get On Up
9) H Town - A Thin Line Between Love & Hate
10) Michael Jackson - You Are Not Alone
11) KCI & Jojo - You Bring Me Up
12) Monica - Why I Love You So Much
13) Brandy - Sittin On Top Of The World
14) Next - Butta Love
15) Nuttin Nyce - Down 4 Whateva
16) Zhane - Crush
17) Arrested Development - Natural
18) Lauryn Hill - Doo Wop
19) Hi-Five - Never Shoulda Let You Go
20) Bobby Brown - Humpin Around
21) R.Kelly - Home Alone
22) Portrait - Honey Dip
23) Kelis - Caught Out There
24) IMX - Stay The Night
25) Sade - Lover's Rock
26) Debelah Morgan - Dance With Me
27) Maxwell - Lifetime
28) Meshell Ndegeocello - Outside Your Door
29) Babyface - For The Cool In You
30) Tracie Spencer - This House
31) Aaliyah - Journey To The Past
32) Temptations - Stay
33) Solo - Where Do U Want Me To Put It?
34) Mya - Case of the Ex
35) Blackstreet - Joy
36) Tony Toni Tone - Slow Wine
37) Joe - What If A Woman
38) Trina Broussard - Losing My Mind
39) Cruna - Take Me Higher
40) India Arie - Video
41) Xscape - Tonight
42) Dru Hill - These Are The Times
43) Maxwell - A Woman's Work
44) Les Nubians - Makeda
45) Meshell Ndegeocello - Stay
46) Dionne Farris - I Know
47) Des'ree - You Gotta Be
48) Jagged Edge - Where The Party At?
49) TLC - Unpretty
50) Changing Faces - Stroke You Up
51) R.Kelly - I Believe I Can Fly
52) Al B Sure - Nite & Day
53) New Edition - Girlfriend
54) Isley Brothers - Tears
55) Joss Stone - Spoiled
56) Nathan Morris - Wishes
57) Subway - I'll Make Your Dreams Come True
58) Erykah Badu - Appletree
59) Samantha Mumba - Baby Come Over
60) Musiq - Just Friends
61) Donell Jones - Where I Wanna Be
62) Johnny Gill & Shabba Ranks - Slow & Sexy
63) Color Me Badd - All For Love
64) All For One - So Much In Love
65) Babyface - Slow Jams
66) Tamia - Tell Me Who
67) IMX - Give Up The Ghost
68) Tevin Campbell - Tomorrow
69) Tony Toni Tone - It Never Rains In Southern California
70) Guy - I Like
71) Christopher Williams - I'm Dreaming
72) Ralph Tresvant - Yo Baby Yo
73) TLC - I'm Good At Being Bad
74) SWV - Anything
75) The Deele - Two Occasions
76) Jody Watley - Looking For A New Love
77) Janet Jackson - If
78) Michael Jackson - Childhood
79) R.Kelly - 12 Play
80) Barry White - Secret Garden
81) Johnny Gill - Fairweather Friend
82) Lisa Stansfield - Change
83) Sade - I Couldn't Love You More
84) Ini Kimoze - Here Comes The Hotstepper
85) Bell Biv Devoe - BBD
86) Whitney Houston - Run To You
87) Brandy - Sittin Up In My room
88) Monica - Don't Take It Personal
89) Aaliyah - Choosey Lover
90) Blackstreet - Booty Call
91) Sisqo - Got To Get It
92) Michel'le - No More Lies
93) Milira - Go Outside In The Rain
94) The System - Don't Disturb This Groove
95) Zhane - Vibe
96) Arrested Development - Ease My Mind
97) KCI & Jojo - Tell Me It's Real
98) IMX - First Time
99) Rude Boys - Written All Over Your Face
100) Angie Stone - Wish I Didn't Miss You

Check back for another list....

The Sarcastic Intellectual's 100 Hip Hop Jams (List 1)

A list of Hip Hop Jams....

1) Lil Troy - Wanna Be A Baller
2) 2pac - Pain
3) Q-Tip - Vivrant Thang
4) Notorious BIG - Juicy
5) Sugafree - If U Stay Ready
6) Jayo Felony - Whatchu Gon Do
7) Deliquent Habits - Tres Deliquentes
8) Frost - La Raze
9) Richie Rich - Do G's Get To Go To Heaven?
10) Kurupt - Who Ride Wit Us
11) Domino - Ghetto Jam
12) Dj Quik - Tonite
13) Public Enemy - 911 Is A Joke
14) 2nd II None - Up In Da Club
15) Snoop Dogg - Gin & Juice
16) LL Cool J - Doin It
17) Warren G - Smokin Me Out
18) MC Breed - Ain't No Future In Your Frontin
19) The Puppies - Funky Y 2 C
20) Luke - Scarred
21) Tag Team - Whoomp There It Is
22) Marky Mark - Good Vibrations
23) Nonchalant - 5 O'Clock
24) Geto Boys - My Mind Is Playin Tricks On Me
25) 95 South - Rodeo
26) Dr.Dre - Dre Day
27) Ice Cube - It Was A Good Day
28) Salt N Pepa - Push It
29) JJ Fad - Supersonic
30) Coolio - Fantastic Voyage
31) Common - The Light
32) Run DMC - My Addidas
33) MC Lyte - Eyes Are The Soul
34) Mack 10 - Foe Life
35) JR Swinga - Chocolate City
36) E40 - Hurricane
37) Stetasonic - Self Destruction
38) Kid N Play - Ain't Gon Hurt Nobody
39) Candyman - Knockin Boots
40) DMX - Ruff Ryders Anthem
41) Chino XL - Kreep
42) Crucial Conflict - Hay
43) Positive K - I Got A Man
44) Wu Tang Clan - The Gravel Pit
45) Big Daddy Kane - Very Special
46) 69 Boyz - Kitty Kitty
47) Sir Mixalot - Posse On Broadway
48) Fat Joe - Envy
49) Big Pun - I'm Not A Player
50) Missy - Sock It 2 Me
51) Naughty By Nature - OPP
52) Special Ed - I Got It Made
53) Kriss Kross - Warm It Up Kris
54) BG - Bling Bling
55) Silk The Shocker - Somebody Like Me
56) Outkast - Playa's Ball
57) TI - Hotel
58) Beanie Sigel - Anything
59) Busta Rhymes - Dangerous
60) Ahmad - Back In The Day
61) Dj Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Nightmare On My Street
62) Sole - 4,5,6
63) Too Short - The Ghetto
64) Ol Dirty Bastard - Got Your Money
65) Public Enemy - Can't Do Nuttin 4 Ya man
66) 2pac - To Live & Die In LA
67) Black Sheep - Flavor Of The Month
68) MC Hammer - Pray
69) The Click - Scandalous
70) Eightball & MJG - Comin Out Hard
71) Goodie Mob - Soul Food
72) Eric B & Rakim - Follow The Leader
73) 504 Boyz - Wobble Wobble
74) Master P - I Got The Hook Up
75) Ja Rule - Holla Holla
76) Skee-Lo - I Wish
77) DMX - Slippin
78) Do or Die - Po Pimp
79) LL Cool J - Goin Back To Cali
80) Salt N Pepa - Shoop
81) 2nd II None - If U Want It
82) Rappin 4 Tay - Player's Club
83) Warren G - Regulte
84) 2 Live Crew - Me So Horny
85) Mase - Feels So Good
86) Lil Kim - No Time
87) Foxy Brown - I'll Be
88) Jay Z - Sunshine
89) Jadakiss - Knock Yourself Out
90) AZ - How Ya Livin
91) E40 - Rapper's Ball
92) Craig Mack - Flava In Ya Ear
93) Ghostface Killah - Daytona 500
94) MC Lyte - Cha Cha Cha
95) WC - Just Clownin
96) Queen Pen - All My Love
97) Lost Boyz - Renee
98) Masta Ace Inc - Inc Ride
99) Audio Two - Top Billin
100) Biz Markie - Vapors

Saturday, July 30, 2005

An Experience Like No Other

I am bound and gagged by a cold sweat at about four in the morning. The wind rustles through the trees outside. The sweat seems to have soaked my tee shirt. I feel anguish as I wipe the sweat from my forehead and get out of bed. Despite the cold sweat, my throat needs to be quenched with some hydrogen 2 oxygen. A glass of it would be appropriate in this instance, I suppose. I am struggling with a battle. A battle of an addiction that needs to be broken. I cry out for help but no one hears me. No one takes pity on this broken vessel, this depressed person, who has an issue that is eating away at him from the inside out. I can feel my heart beating rapidly and viciously. The water is not calming my nerves like I thought it would, but I continue to grasp each sip. My mouth is still parched, that's funny, water is supposed to satisfy the dryness of the throat. I wrap myself up in a quilt that was handmade by my grandmother and continue to ponder over why no one sees that this addiction is killing me. You would of thought I would have gotten the message by now with the nights I spent over the Eljer toilet and the numerous sinks that now have remnants of the vomit smell. No Lysol or Oust can alleviate the scent of the smell that lingers in some of those sinks. I enjoyed the occasional gulps of Kahlua and the downing of rum. They were my friends. I do not know how I got entangled with the cycle of thinking that liquor could solve my problems; that I could drown my issues and problems in a bottle of Jose Cuervo. I have to live with the pain of the addiction that has not worn off. I seem to be exercising in circles because I do this cold sweat thing almost every night now that I have stopped feeding the craving. But I did not stop at my own free will. It took me burying my friend to finally see how horrific drinking can be. A crushed car with blood oozing out of it is not a pretty sight. When I saw my friend being pried out of the car with the jaws of life, there were no tears. Pure shock had me at a standstill. I was speechless as I saw the blood literally dripping off of his neck. But I will spare you the details of that event. Chills and goosebumps slide down my arms and legs as I wrap myself up further in the quilt. The remote next to my bed is sitting on the nightstand. I find some relief in watching an old episode of Duck Tales. I am reminded of my childhood when I used to sit in the living room and drink apple cider and play Monopoly with my cousins, while watching that unforgettable cartoon. Apple cider is sweet and charming like the exotic fruit juices of the Alize that I use to gargle with before bedtime. I can still feel the remains of a half drunk bottle simmering and marinating in my liver and kidneys. I turn the television off and reminisce over the decision I made when I first took a nip of a Fuzzy Navel. People couldn't wait to entice me with more and more and more. They would respond to my calls for another shot. Isn't it funny how I am crying out now but no one hears me?

An excerpt from something I am working on.....

Life has many parts, can you hear them?

Friday, July 29, 2005

The Sarcastic Intellectual's 100 R&B Jams (List 1)

A simple list of 100 jams R&B jams...(you might wanna print this out)

1) En Vogue - Lies
2) Whitney Houston - It's Not Right But It's Okay
3) SWV - Love Will Be Right Here
4) R.Kelly - Summer Bunnies
5) Toni Braxton - Love Shoulda Brought You Home
6) Erykah Badu - Next Lifetime
7) Hi Five - The Kissing Game
8) Aaron Hall - I Miss U
9) Michael Jackson - Scream
10) TLC - Diggin On You
11) Chante Moore - Candlelight & You
12) CeCe Peniston - Keep On Walkin
13) Toni Braxton - Another Sad Love Song
14) Immature - We Got It
15) Playa - Cheers 2 U
16) Silk - Freak Me
17) Boyz II Men - I'll Make Love To You
18) Deborah Cox - Sentimental
19) En Vogue - Hold On
20) Erykah Badu - On & On
21) Mya - It's All About Me
22) Jagged Edge - Keys To The Range
23) Mary J Blige - You Remind Me
24) SWV - Use Your Heart
25) Changing Faces - Foolin Around
26) Aaliyah - One In A Million
27) Bell Biv Devoe - Poison
28) D'Angelo - Untitled
29) Keith Washington - Kissing You
30) Next - Too Close
31) Public Announcement - Body Bumpin
32) Brandy - Best Friend
33) Jagged Edge - I Gotta Be
34) Brian McKnight - The Way Love Goes
35) D'Angelo - Cruisin
36) Intro - Come Inside
37) Donell Jones - In The Hood
38) Case - Missing You
39) Total - Sittin At Home
40) En Vogue - Don't Let Go
41) Silk - Lose Control
42) Shai - If I Ever Fall In Love
43) Tevin Campbell - I'm Ready
44) Rome - I Belong To You
45) Sumthin 4 Tha People - My Love Is The Shhh....
46) Ghost Town Dj's - My Boo
47) 112 - Cupid
48) Mista - Blackberry Molasses
49) DRS - Gangsta Lean
50) Mint Condition - Pretty Brown Eyes
51) Arrested Development - Everyday People
52) Tony Toni Tone - Lay Your Head
53) Xscape - Feels So Good
54) Mariah Carey - Honey
55) Jon B - Are U Still Down?
56) Janet Jackson - That's The Way Love Goes
57) Xscape - Just Kickin It
58) Billy Lawrence - Happiness
59) Immature - Never Lie
60) TLC - Creep
61) Soul For Real - Candy Rain
62) Beenie Man - Girls Dem Sugar
63) Jodeci - Forever My Lady
64) Aaliyah - Age Ain't Nuttin But A Number
65) Boyz II Men - End of The Road
66) Brownstone - If U Love Me
67) Zhane - Hey Mr.Dj
68) Guy - Piece of My Love
69) Jon B - They Don't Know
70) KP & Envyi - Swing My Way
71) Zhane - Groove Thang
72) Dru Hill - 5 Steps
73) Soul For Real - Every Little Thing I Do
74) TLC - Baby Baby Baby
75) Blackstreet - Fix
76) Brian McKnight - Anytime
77) Mariah Carey - Dreamlover
78) Tevin Campbell - Round & Round
79) Mokenstef - He's Mine
80) SWV - Weak
81) Nicole - Make It Hot
82) Chuckii Booker - Games
83) Xscape - My Little Secret
84) Case - Touch Me, Tease Me
85) Chante Moore - Bitter
86) Koffee Brown - After Party
87) Maxwell - Ascension
88) New Edition - Can You Stand The Rain
89) Blackstreet - No Diggity
90) Shai - Comforter
91) Jade - Don't Walk Away
92) Soul II Soul - Back To Life
93) Michael Jackson - Black or White
94) Jodeci - Come & Talk To Me
95) Kelly Price - Friend of Mine (Remix)
96) Total - No One Else
97) TLC - Red Light Special
98) Arrested Development - Mr.Wendal
99) Mark Morrison - Return of The Mack
100) En Vogue - Giving Him Something He Can Feel

Check back for another list....coming soon.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Uncleanliness In Spirit II

There is a miniscule amount of people who believe in God on this earth today. Many people do not believe in God. They have this false sense that somehow they fell onto this earth wrapped in a blanket and crying while being held by their mother. This false belief has led many people down a road of sin, thus contaminating their spirit to fulfill the lust of the flesh. These fleshy desires are what the devil uses to get us away from living the way God created us to live. People opt to do whatever they want and think that there would not be consequences for their actions. Unbeknowest to the unbelievers or backslidders, they do not know that God is watching their every move. People deceive and cheat, and do all sorts of things behind closed doors and think that they are getting away with it, but the Lord Almighty sees you. Do not fool yourself. If people really believed that there was a God there wouldn't be so much desire in the world today. People have created false idols such as liquor, material clothes, money and other THINGS. Every person has fallen short of the will of God and thus, our world is contaminated and filthy. People desire to have new houses and new cars, perky jobs and wealth that flows like milk & honey. These fleshy desires are what is driving people further into sin. Why is this? This occurs primarily because people do not believe in God nor do they fear God. If they believed in the mighty power of the almighty God who reigns in heaven, we wouldn't be so fascinated by THINGS. We would walk upright and perform the purpose we were created to do. In Proverbs 14:2, it says Whoever fears the Lord walks uprightly, but those who despise him are devious in their ways. When you think of despise, it brings up the synonym hate or dislike. So can we assume that all unbelievers and backslidders do not fear the Lord? Well, you could say that because if you do not believe in God, then you cannot fear him and if you are a backslidder, you do not fear God. It is important therefore to decide to lay down the fleshy desires and repent to the Lord. We should as all Americans first acknowledge the belief in God. I cannot even begin to fathom, how one cannot believe in God. But then again, people only believe in what they see and if they cannot see it, then they figure it does not exist. Therefore, because we cannot see or touch God we feel as if there is no God. But the devil is a liar. Stop allowing his pollution to invade your purpose. Until we lay down the fleshy desires and get back into the purpose that God created for us, we will never achieve HIS purpose for our lives, and our spirit will forever remain contaminated and unclean and thus we will die and not go to heaven. The punishment for sin is death, backslidder and unbeliever. God wants us to be holy and it is time we start being holy and living by the will of God and the purpose HE had when HE created us. Lay down the desire while you still can, you will thank yourself later because you'd know your spirit is clean and that you would live forever.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

The 100th Post

I decided for the 100th Blog to go back to the old style from the first blog.

1) The Growth Of The Company You Keep - I have come to the conclusion that true friendship is never attainable. People do whatever they feel whenever they feel like it, and have the nerve to call themselves your friend. It boggles my mind because a friend is supposed to be an unchanging stable person in your life. The one you can always count on and talk to. The one who isn't harsh and mean, yet isn't overly prideful either. But I have found that the company I keep is questionable. I mean sure friends have issues but there comes a point in time where people need to grow up and I have noticed that some of the friends I have are still in their baby stages. They still suck on their thumbs, their diet mainly consists of Gerber 1, 2 & 3 and since I am such a nice guy, it might be appropriate for me to buy them some Similac.

2) Leaving W/O Notice - It has become a topic of discussion among my friends as to who I am. I am the type of person who gets up and leaves w/o notice, w/o telling anyone. I am sorry but I do not recall you purchasing my ticket nor funding my tuition. If I feel the need to tell you that I am going on a trip, I'll let you know. One thing I have learned is that many are hypocritical. They expect me to tell them things, but are not ready to reveal things themselves. How can you expect me to follow suit, if you are unwilling? Then there is this joke that they have that I have a wife and kids since I am gone quite often. I do not have a wife and kids. Let me say that again. I do not have a wife & kids. I plan on having a wife and kids sooner or later, but that comment is quite tired and dead. It has become the headline on my newspaper. I desire my own space and when you get into my space, it's a problem. And then there is this sort of mentality that I have the uncanny ability to assess character from the moment I meet you. I do have that ability, but I keep it to myself. No sense at telling you about yourself when you are supposed to know yourself. This is why truth is so devastating because many people I know live in a dreamland of escapism and are not willing to face their issues, problems and fears. Instead they sweep them under the rug and go on acting like everything is wonderful not knowing that one day the rug will be pulled out from under them.

3) I think that it has become the normal assumption that people have that I am some kind of pushover or have this nice complex. People have this perception that I will take anything and everything because I am calm and secure. Don't be fooled. This is one reason why I have lost so many friends, because they stress my weaknesses and when I throw the strengths up in their face or tell them about themselves, they leave. It brings up the old phrase: "if you are bold enough to dish it out, then be bold enough to take it," otherwise do not say anything at all. And I think for the most part people do not consider what they utter before they utter it and then they are left feeling bad or betrayed by me because I give them a taste of their own medicine.

4) I am a psychiatrist. I do not have the degree, but I am. Really I am...I am a counselor, an advisor, a therapist. These are all things that I have become because people seem to want to discuss their relationship problems with me. I do not know why it is that people have this perception that I am supposed to listen to their every story. It makes me sick to my stomach. Can't we discuss something besides your relationship issues? There are more subjects in the world than who you fucked, or who is fuckin you. Often times, I think because I've heard them out once they think that I am supposed to hear them out again. Yes, I will, but it need not become our only topic.

By now, you are probably shaking your head or laughing and chuckling about what you have just read. Or maybe you have closed the window. I am not sorry if I offended you, but I felt it was time to lay my cards on the table. Thinking and assessing things about yourself and how you really feel removes burdens and baggage from you. I am glad that I have finally come to a point where I am able to do that.

Life has many parts, wow 100 posts already, I wonder what it'll be like when I reach 500 or 1,000?

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Advanced Personality Test

Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion50%
Stability80%
Orderliness63%
Altruism56%
Interdependence63%
Intellectual50%
Mystical70%
Artistic90%
Religious90%
Hedonism30%
Materialism36%
Narcissism70%
Adventurousness70%
Work ethic30%
Self absorbed76%
Conflict seeking50%
Need to dominate36%
Romantic63%
Avoidant30%
Anti-authority56%
Wealth43%
Dependency10%
Change averse56%
Cautiousness30%
Individuality76%
Sexuality63%
Peter pan complex30%
Physical security76%
Physical Fitness70%
Histrionic30%
Paranoia30%
Vanity50%
Hypersensitivity43%
Male cliche30%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
I have taken this test three times, so I am assuming this fourth time is the most accurate.

Personality Disorder Test

The Big 5

And The Results Are....

Big Five Test Results
Extroversion (54%) medium which suggests you average somewhere in between being assertive and social and being withdrawn and solitary.
Accommodation (46%) medium which suggests you are moderately kind natured, trusting, and helpful while still maintaining your own interests.
Orderliness (72%) high which suggests you are overly organized, neat, structured and restrained at the expense too often of flexibility, variety, spontaneity, and fun.
Emotional Stability (76%) high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Inquisitiveness (54%) moderate which suggests you are, at times, overly small minded, traditional, and conventional at the expense of intellectual curiousity, possibility, and progress.
Take Free Big Five Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Monday, July 25, 2005

Uncleanliness In Spirit I

We live in a world full of sin. It's plain and simple. We are marinated in sin due to the void that was placed in us when Adam sinned back when he decided to bite into that apple. The world is full of people who have this tendency to serve things. They serve sex, alcohol, drugs, other people and yet think it is okay. But what can be gained from sinning, but death. All who sin, die. We have become so hung up on what society tells us that we fail to operate under what God has decreed. There are bars and liquor stores, clubs and other forms of bondage that continue to wrap themselves up in us. We have been brainwashed as a society into thinking that sin is what is right. No longer do people feel bad about destroying their liver and kidneys just to do a body shot, no longer do you have guilt for backin it up in the club. Our society is complacent as far as the will of God and what the Bible tells us we should do. Then we have these people who question and challenge the Bible because they want to do what they want to do and do not feel as though God exists. Only a fool does not believe in God. One thing I do want to warn you on: one day your sins will come into the light. Your obsession with alcohol, your sexual escapades when sex is meant for marriage. We have people who sleep with anything and everything that walks and they are destroying themselves with their temptations and lust. One day though, all of the escapades and backsliding that you do will come to light. God will bring it to light. It says in Ezekiel 38:23-24: "And the nations will know that the people of Israel went into exile for their sin, because they were unfaithful to me. So I hid my face from them and handed them over to their enemies, and they all fell by the sword. I dealt with them according to their uncleanness and their offenses, and I hid my face from them." What one gets from that is that God will ultimately publicly reveal your sin if you do not get your act together. You do not have to be an Israelite to be revealed of your sins. What is bewildering is that people continue to sin knowing that it is wrong. You know it is wrong when you do that blending and you know its wrong when you have sex with someone because you just feel the need to. I ask you in the name of Jesus to turn yourself over to Christ today so that he can drive the devil out of your life and get you back on track so you can have a clean spirit and not die. Turn from sin today, you will be glad that you did otherwise you run the risk of death and public revelation because it is coming.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Gospel Lyrics III


One of my favorite gospel songs of all time. This song will pick you up when you are down and strengthen you when you are feeling good.

The Best Is Yet To Come
(written by Donald Lawrence)

Verse:
Hold on my brother don’t give up, hold on my sister just look up;
there is a master plan in store for you if you just make it through
God’s gonna really blow your mind,
He’s gonna make it worth your time, for all of the trouble you’ve been through, the blessing’s double just for you

Chorus:
The best is yet to come
The best, the best is yet to come

Bridge:
Today is the first day of the best days of your life,
Today is the first day of the best days of your life,
Today is the first day of the best days of your life,

Chorus

Vamp (x4):
You ain’t seen nothing, You ain’t seen nothing yet,
You ain’t seen nothing yet

Chorus (x2)

Bridge (x2)

Vamp (x2)

Life has many parts, you ain't seen many of them yet.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Step Out of The Grip V: The Last of This Blog Series

I was thinking about how to conclude this blog series and I found a way to conclude this pivotal blog series. It is time for us to get our minds right. We have become so entrenched and brainwashed in things that they have completely possessed us and the mind is grabbing ahold of things that we need to let go of. There are some of you reading this who still have fragments and pieces floating around in your cerebrum that need to be discarded in order for you to get your mind right. The mind is an interesting body part because it connects us to the world around us. We envision and perceive things through our thoughts, thus our thoughts create in us a picture. This picture can be drawn in many ways depending on the situation that you are going through or the type of thought that is running around in your head.

Our thoughts influence how we perceive others. It is our mind that spews out thoughts of how others perceive us, it is our mind that makes us turn to the bottle, it is our mind that has us feeling depressed, it is our mind that ultimately governs how we react to situations and people. This is why it is very important to get your mind right because it can cause you to spiral downward. But how can we get our mind right if we do not perceive that anything is wrong with it? Your mind is not right if you are depressed, your mind is not right if you feel you must have random sex. Your mind is not right if you have to turn to some tequila to have a good time. Your mind is not right if you gossip about others or have a tendency to care what others think about you.

Our mind plays tricks on us. We think that we have a well mind, but in fact our mind has been polluted by others and things we see. The brain has the capacity to hold many situations in the mind and they never go away unless you kill those thoughts and step out of the grip. The mind has us to believe that what we are doing is positive when in reality what we are doing is anything but. It is kind of deceptive because you begin to wonder what has possessed me to think that I am doing something positive when I am not really doing anything positive.

The situations that you are placed in and the shifting of the people you encounter can cause you to perceive things that aren't or were never even there and you being to shape and form a thought and it is swimming in the abyss of your brain. This is why you may have the tendency to talk about people or get this urge to drink because you have been placed in a situation or encountered a person who has conjured up a thought in your mind that you feel this is the only solution to counteract that thought. I hope you got that. We tend to do what has been done to us or what we see others do. We talk about people because they talk about us. We have random sex because someone has told us how magnificent and wonderful it is and we want to try it ourselves. It is the urge that needs to be satisfied but it is never satisfied because the morning after, we often regret having done the nasty. How then do we get rid of these "positive" thoughts? We have to go through the agony of letting things in us die out in order for the thoughts to be grinded up and thrown away. Otherwise, the thoughts will continue to resurface and thus we revisit the same old behavior.

Often times, we think we have gotten over something and the thought has left us but because we have not gone through the agony of actually letting that thing die out, the thought resurfaces and we revisit. This is why one moment you can be fine and the next you are reminded of the depression you felt after a relationship breakup because you have not confronted the thought and stepped out of the grip of that particular situation that is still plaguing your mind. This is why one moment you can be totally comfortable and the next minute you are craving that next shot of rum because this habit has been formed in your mind and the habit has not died out nor has the thought. Thoughts become words and thoughts can become actions. For example, I think I will have steak tonight. That is a thought and those are words and then I go to the store and buy the steak and cook it. There is an itch that the thought gives that needs to be scratched and everytime you scratch it, the thought will continue to sit in the whirlpool of your mind and the grip that the thought has on you will not be released. It is important to note that until you deal with the thoughts and get your mind right that you will always revisit or thoughts will distract and cause confusion in you until you let the thoughts die out.

Life has many parts, STEP OUT OF THEM and let new ones be formed.

What Famous Leader Do You Emulate?

So I took this personality test on similarminds.com and it asks you many questions about your personality and relates you to what famous leader you emulate. Here are the results:

Isn't it interesting that my personality emulates someone who was assasinated?

Life has many parts, didn't you know that?

Friday, July 22, 2005

Gospel Lyrics II

This is a song by Tonex from his 02 release. This song is pretty good; one of his best.

Verse 1:

Hey DJ let it play all day
Turn it up really loud keep the faith no doubt
Don't you worry, don't you fret
There's a blessing you're next
He's faithful don't forget it
40 spins now just check it
Lean trials they just a keep a pressin' me
Dancin' although the world is stressin' me
I'll keep movin' on won't let it get me down
People they always try to front on me
I refuse to let it get the best of me
DJ play my song we gone rock it all night long

Chorus:

I'm not worried about a thang
He's gone handle everything
I'm not worried about a thang
He's gone handle it take care of it
I ain't worried about a thang

Verse 2:

Time to get paid got it made in the shade
Tonéx representin' all day
BET, MTV in heavy rotation
Every station got it blazin' it's ok now
Just praise Him in advance

Chorus (x2):

I'm not worried about a thang
He's gone handle everything
I'm not worried about a thang
He's gone handle it take care of it
I ain't worried about a thang

Life has many parts, I'm not worried about any of them.



Thursday, July 21, 2005

Poetry Corner

Haven't you had enough?
Of being treated as a slave,
like a bat in a cave,
haven't you had enough?
of proclaiming that you are free,
when you are still caught up in a racism mystery,
haven't you had enough?
of drinking the nectar of Lucifer,
and running after the next him or her,
haven't you had enough?
of being brainwashed by the media,
dealing with oppresion and depression,
haven't you had enough?
of all this violence and unjust,
if you live awhile stuff will make you skeptical and you won't know who to trust,
haven't you had enough?
of one night stands and random sex because your life is a little bland,
of smokin black & milds and gettin so high that you adopt the actions of a child,
haven't you had enough?
of not reading through the lines,
laborin in darkness and not sunshine,
refusing to conceptualize that now is the time,
haven't you had enough?
-KJ

We the People of the United States,
have forgotten how to be kind and relate,
ignore all the chaos that devastates,
We the People of the United States,
spit out love and eat hate,
destroy instead of create,
We the People of the United States
-KJ

Life has many parts, haven't you had enough of some of yours?

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

I'm Not Addicted To Starbucks

I on occasion make the decision to walk to Starbucks and order something but I am not really impressed with their coffee. I have ordered the Chantico and the Vanilla Chai, but I never order any fraps. My friend, Naeesa, worked there and whenever I talk to her I always tell her how bad the coffee is. I am a caffeine drinker and Starbucks just doesn't satisfy my need for the bean. Everytime I would order coffee from Starbucks, I'd regret dishing out my $4 for the Venti Caramel Frap or the tall White Chocolate Mocha. The coffee has no umph. The umph that I need especially when I cram all night for an exam (that's never happened before, but what if it did, I would need a strong beaned coffee and Starbucks can't do it for me). There is this coffee place in Cali called The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. That place is off da chain and their coffee has umph. The umph a person needs. Most people who I've talked to after they've gone there convert to Coffee Bean as if getting coffee is some sort of cult or culture. I figure if you are going to pay almost $5 for a cup of coffee, it ought to quench your pallette and perk you up, Maxwell House style. I encourage each and every one of you that whenever you take a trip to Cali, to go there, you will never order coffee from Starbucks again. I am not here to promote Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf or to down Starbucks, this is just my opinion and since you are reading this blog you care to know my opinion otherwise you would not have taken the time out of your stressful, long day to read my gibberish. I need a Vanilla Ice Blended bad. You know when you are a coffee addict like I don't want to believe I am, you get these cravings. It's like the alcoholic or the cigarette smoker. You feen for that next hit or sip. I am not that way, but every now and then I want a good cup of coffee and I am sick of ordering non-coffee related drinks @ Starbucks. Starbucks is a coffee shop and I should feel comfortable about drinking coffee from there. I should not have to stoop to ordering kiddy drinks like Hot Caramel Apple Cider, Chantico and non-coffee fraps just as a coffee substitute. Maybe, I should try Karibou, but I doubt they will change the way I look @ Starbucks or Coffee Bean. I'll be going home soon so I will be able to get on Mindanao Way and stop at the Marina to get me some coffee with some umph.

Life has many parts, I need some umph in mine.

$ On Hold

Okay, so here's the deal. I was on Amazon.com today and I was in the process of clicking things and adding them to my cart and when I got to the checkout and tried to checkout, it didn't go through. So I called Bank of America and they told me that my card had been deactivated. First question, who told them to deactivate it? My card was slowly approaching expiration and I was due to receive a new card and so I called Bank of America on Monday to see if they had put it in an envelope and dropped it in that blue box that is situated on the curb but much to my dismay they hadn't so the clerk told me that she would mail me one. Little did I know that mail me another meant cancel the current card til I get a new one. So the clerk I talked to today tells me that the lady put lost/stolen on my card and deactivated its usage. Why? I never said I had any identity theft. That stupid woman. Now I have to patiently wait until I get a new card, because those temporary ones aren't the best and sometimes do not work. So as of right now I am moneyless for a bit, which is an odd feeling since I always at least have $10 on me at any given moment. Now, I have to walk without an ATM card and rely on the use of my credit card. I guess that'll do, of course, I will continue to put myself in deeper debt by using that Providian Visa.

Last songs to play on the Ipod...
My Chemical Romance - Helena
Jason Mraz - Wordplay
Green Day - Holiday
Meredith Brooks - Bitch
Sarah Maclachlan - World On Fire
Howie Day - Collide
The White Stripes - My Doorbell
Sugar Ray - Shot of Laughter

Okay, so I don't know how I am supposed to feel about the new nominee for judge on the Supreme Court? I don't know much about the man, but I do know that the democrats are going to give him hell because he is conservative and is a Bush appointee. And of course, it diminishes the amount of women who serve cause that only leaves Ginsburg (I think I spelled that correctly). What I don't understand is why stuff has to be interrupted for me to hear Bush speak his lies to the world? This is why I have adopted a pasttime of watching old eps of Saved By the Bell & Tales From The Crypt because I cannot enjoy television. This war is getting real old because it's not over and it doesn't appear to be over. Now, I hear that they might start drafting college students. Hmm, Canada seems like a good place to go. I might go there because I will not be fighting in a war that is for pure $. Did you hear that Saddam will be tried, finally? How long has it been since he was captured? Man and we have a few more years with this neanderthal (hopefully that's spelled right, I'm not gonna spell check it). Maybe I can become a hustler and get a new name & id and avoid having to wear army fatigues. That's a viable option.

Life has many parts, some have to be put on hold.

Poetry Corner

I am your therapist,
Come lie down and let me help you relax,
I want to massage your feet and rub your back,
Get your body all fired up for what is to come,
I can have you yearning for more,
moaning and groaning til you are sore,
No talk, just love making & foreplay,
have you thinkin about it during the day,
The power of my touch,
Will have your toes curling and you sweatin profusely,
I am not playing so don't take this too loosely,
It will be magical and romantic,
We could even go so far as to try something tantric,
The many positions I'll have you in,
you better hope you can flex and bend,
Please stay the night,
In the morning breakfast will be made,
and then we can start all over again....
-KJ

any minute now
i might give into the pain,
the heartache,
i feel like running out and crying in the rain,
this hurt i cannot seem to contain,
my body is aching for your touch once more,
i reflect on what we had,
and it makes me mad,
i trusted you with my secrets and privacy,
yet you betrayed me,
you were unjust with my trust,
stealing my thoughts and actions with the seductiveness of your aura,
withdrawing energy with that swagger,
when we parted ways it felt like you had pierced my heart with a dagger,
i envision glimpses of you when i arise,
and glance at the clear, blue sky
you are under my skin,
i am simply stuck in a love trap within
and i need to get out, but don't know where to begin...
-KJ

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

And My Defect Is...

So I took this personality defect test on okcupid.com and here are the results....


Hippie
You are 28% Rational, 71% Extroverted, 28% Brutal, and 42% Arrogant.

You are the Hippie! Characterized by a strong sense of extroversion, irrationality, gentleness, and humility, you no doubt frolic through fields preaching peace and love to all! You are probably either very spiritual (true, very true) or needlessly paranoid about "the man" (if you are talkin bout 5-0 here, then yes policemen are most of the time very racist against Black men), like most hippies, as a result of your focus on intuition and feelings over cold, brutal logic. You are also very, very social. (that's one very too many) And like any hippie, who would have no qualms about hitchiking across the country just to meet some interesting people (that's a croc), you too love to interact with others, even complete strangers. (sometimes, on occasion) Because we know most any hippie is peace-loving and humble, it stands to reason that you, as well, are terribly gentle and humble, (gentle is not the right word, cause I can be pretty harsh when necessary) almost to the point of revulsion. Your carefree attitude of peace and harmony is probably very, very sickening to realists or cynics or anyone who isn't a hippie, to tell the truth. (Yeah the truth usually pisses people off) In short, your personality is defective because you are overly emotional, extroverted, gentle, and humble--thus making you an annoying hippie. And you listen to psychadelic rock and smoke a whole lot of pot. Okay, maybe not, but I wouldn't be surprised if you did.

To put it less negatively:
1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.
2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.
3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.
4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Take It EZ



I am a Common fan. He is one of those prolific rappers who can make you think about many issues that occur in life and in the world. I first started listening to Common way back when he came out with the now classic, "I Used To Love Her," which speaks about past love. That song is classic Common and classic hip-hop. It propelled him into the hip-hop scene and made his album, Resurrection, very successful. However, Resurrection serves up some eccletic rhymes that will have you pressing repeat on your cd player. The title track alone is enough to make you want to listen over and over again. The piano beat and simple bass is exceptional on that song. Another track on that cd, "Orange Pineapple Juice," is a humorous play on words. Common's rapping style and skills really shine on this song.
Common really became popular with his Like Water For Chocolate release which contains "The Light," with Bilal. That song is smooth and mellow and is another track that is worth hearing over & over. I did not think Common could do any better than his first single, "Take It Ez," which is inspirational and rhythmic, but I was wrong because Common outdoes himself on BE. The title track is a simple 3 minute introduction discussing Blackness and Black people. He rhymes over a vibal beat that you'd think of hearing in a jazz club. "The Corner," which was the first single off of the cd, includes Kanye West and The Last Poets, who really make the song shine. The song speaks on issues that arise in the ghettos of Chicago. "Go!" is one of the best songs on the cd, which is a synthesized beat with John Mayer saying Go with an occasional record scratch placed within the beat. The song speaks on a woman he fantasizes about after he sees her in a club and how they have sex in a bathroom. Faithful is another Kanye infused track. Common, in this song, questions if God is a woman and how he'd react in the world today if he knew God was a woman. Ultimately, he decides regardless that he must be faithful to the end despite the question. Testify lays a portrait of a woman who deals with the pain of marriage and murder. "Love Is," is typical Common. It reminds me a lot of the smoothness of "Watermelon" and "Retrospect For Life." He describes what love is and how everyone views love and where love can be found. "Chi City," is another Commonesque song. He describes life in Chicago and how some things never change. "The Food" is a live recording from The Dave Chappelle Show. I wish he would have included the studio version, because it seems not to really fit the cd and its style. Kanye West guests on the song. The song talks about how to survive in this world. "Real People," is another favorite of mine. Common proves once again that he is not afraid to speak what he feels nor what he has observed. "They Say," is radio worthy. I see this being a single simply because Common describes how the media spins whatever they want about rappers. Kanye West's verse is perfect for this song and blends well with the beat. "It's Your World," is inspiration a-la Common. Common always manages to include an inspirational song to the struggling people in this world and how minorities struggle and how we need to overcome struggle. He draws on struggles he went through growing up in Chicago. The album is definitely worth the money. Do not download. BE is definitely classic Common and ranks up there with some of the best hip hop albums ever made.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Gospel Lyrics I


One of the most inspirational songs I've heard in awhile is by Deitrick Haddon. It is called "Walls Are Tumbling." It is very lively and makes you praise God and smile.

Lyrics are from Deitrick Haddon's "Walls Are Tumbling" from his 2004 release, Crossroads.

"Walls Are Tumbling"

Paula White:

When I make a decision,
God can so transform me with this truth,
That no matter if I look to the right, left, behind me, in front of me,
How destructive everything looks,
If I stay still and hear the salvation of the Lord,
God is on my side,
I'm making a decision by the blood of Jesus

Deitrick Haddon:

See what the Lord has done for us,
see what a mighty God he is,
see what the Lord has done for us,
see what a mighty God he is.

Chorus:

See what the Lord has done for us,
see what a mighty God he is,
c'mon, c'mon,
see what the Lord has done for us,
see what a mighty God he is,
see man, see man, hey,
see what a might God he is,
the Walls are Tumbling,
the Walls are Tumbling,
can I get a witness?
the Walls are Tumbling down,
so let's praise His Holy Name.

Paula White:

God's gonna disassociate you from the pain, God's gonna disassociate you from the problem, God's gonna disassociate you from your past, tell somebody.

Deitrick Haddon:

See what the Lord has done for us,
see what a mighty God he is,
see what the Lord has done for us,
you've got to see what a mighty God he is,
you've got to see,
make the devil out of a liar,
the walls are tumbling,
the walls are tumbling,
I can see it,
the walls are tumbling,
I can feel it,
the walls are tumbling down,
so let's praise His Holy Name,

Paula White:

His mercy is gonna visit you,
His truth is gonna transform you,
Hey, you better give God some praise,

Chorus:

See what the Lord has done for us,
see what a mighty God he is,
you gotta, you gotta, you gotta,
the walls are tumbling,
in my mind today,
the walls are tumbling,
in my spirit today,
the walls are tumbling down,
so let's praise His Holy Name,
tell the mountain to be removed,
Hey, good God almighty,

Paula White:

The devil is a liar,
that thing is going to be uprooted today by the blood of Jesus,
that thing's gonna be conquered today,
that thing's gonna be defeated today,
it will not grow,
it will not have manifestation,
it's over,
decisions from my flesh are over,
decisions from my past are over,
you better put your hands together now and praise HIM,

Chorus:
the walls are coming down (x4)
they're coming down,
better get you a dance in your feet,
yeah,
the walls are coming down (x3)
they've got to come down,
you just stand still and see your salvation,
yeah,
you just watch God do it (x2)
He won't let you down....

Life has many parts, sometimes you gotta let God tear them down.