Internet Relationships: The New Fad?

I have never seen such foolishness. I have talked to several people and gotten their opinions on dating and relationships. They all seem to have the same opinion - both suck, partly because we as human beings look to our dates to be perfect. We look for perfection. The mate has to have a sense of humor, look good, talk good, have an education, perform off da hook between the sheets and the list goes on. The brothas talk about how there ain't no sistas willing to give them a chance because of the other brothas who have hurt them in the past and the sistas say there ain't no good man they can find. I asked myself, why are relationships so hard? The answer is simple. Everyone has an expectation and when that expectation is not met, they lose interest, or tire from wanting to deal with the date or the relationship. Over the past few years, I have noticed that relationships are difficult - they take work and time and not many people my age or any age for that matter are willing to make the effort to deal. We say we are ready to have a relationship but that's not true. I was talking to a good friend of mine and she said that she despises dating partly because it's too hard to do. "I can't find the right one," she says. I have been told over the years, that the right woman would come along as if she would just fall on my doorstep and ring the doorbell. But like anything in life - you have to go after it. So I sincerely doubt that the perfect woman will drop on my doorstep. And then there's my cousin, who says that dating is pointless. But how can you get to know the person intimately without dating them? Isn't that impossible?, I asked him. Yes, he answered. You'd think that relationships would be easy but nope - they are extremely difficult. It makes it even more difficult for those of us who have dated someone who liked us more than we liked them or vice versa. That is nothing but a volcano awaiting to erupt. Dating is so hard that people have turned to the Internet to pursue their desired mate. They select their preferences and voila - a bunch of folks just like themselves who've had some dating dilemmas, right there for them to pick and choose like they are fruit in a grocery store. Is e-love the new fad? Is that why so many relationships that come from the Internet work? I was reading Jet magazine, the one with Mary J Blige on the cover, and it said that relationships over the Internet work for some and not others. People feel like they are getting their expectations met. I've never dated anyone who I've met over the Internet, but I wonder if I'll ever be so frustrated with non-e dating that I'll log on and read some e-personals. Somehow I don't see myself doing that but never say never. For now I'll just be single - w/o a relationship and perhaps I'll take a break from dating for awhile.

Life has many parts -

A Million Little Lies...Ahem Pieces

I am trying to figure out what on Earth...Oprah is so pissed about. I mean sure she was duped, but come on now, let's be real: the book is darn good. I don't know if you've read the book but it's quite interesting. Anyone can tell from the first line that it's not memoir-ish. I was chuckling at Oprah on Thursday, when she told Frey what he had done. She looked humiliated and with good reason - he tricked her, but I'ma need for Oprah to check the fine print a little more closely next time. But she trusted him. My motto is trust no one but your mother and father and even that is questionable on occasion. The writer of A Million Little Lies...Ahem Pieces is getting much exposure now that he has been on Oprah. He is lying all the way to the bank.....unfortunately for Oprah she may lose some of her wonderful credibility now that she's been hoodwinked and bamboozled. Perhaps next time she won't be so trusting.

Life has many parts -

Last songs to play...
Robin Thicke - Wanna Love You Girl
D4L - Laffy Taffy
Pretty Ricky - Call Me
Webbie - Bad Bitch
Heather Headley - In My Mind

A Meal Is Ready, Are You Hungry?

I have found over the past year that in order to change, you have to first see your faults and your successes. In reading several books, the Bible included, it is evident to me that I am in no position to judge others, but to effective tell them that their soul depends on it. There are those who contemplate as to whether the Bible is really true. Being a new Christian, considering I’ve only been saved for the past year, I have to go by what is written, thus, where the believing comes in. It is easy for me to say that I believe in God – but behind closed doors loathe righteousness and trying to live right. I am by no means an ideal person, no one is. In fact, nothing and no one is perfect and good but the Almighty himself. There is no point at me trying to shove scriptures down someone’s throat or telling them that there is a true God – I leave that up to God. HE is the one who has to reveal HIMSELF to you. As I looked at this further, I could not believe how difficult it was for me to be condemned for my sins when I first came back to the church last year. It was hard for me to believe that me – who sees himself as a somewhat decent human being could be such a bad human being and that I was going to hell unless I received Jesus Christ as my Lord & Savior and was baptized and began leaving sin behind and moving towards to what God would have me to do. After much decision, I repented and God is helping me clean up my filthy spirit. I realized something though; I have to do this for someone else. God has specifically chosen me not to revile but to bring someone else out of sin that has been blinded by the devil. There are scholars and people who purport that Christianity is religious brainwashed cleverly disguised. Who is to say that certain things in the Bible haven’t been taken out or added? I know this one thing – that God exists. I know this for a fact. How do I know? I can look at my life and to where HE has brought me. There is that still small voice inside of me that has empowered me to bring my life to a point where I am ready for what HE has for me. It is said that those who question believers beliefs claim that they are escaping the realities and calamities of life, and going to church is nothing but a theatrical presentation to avoid the fear of being exposed for the things they so desperately try and hide. I disagree, I mean sure there are those who come simply to escape, but once you have been enlightened and awakened by God, not by the grandiloquence and speaking style of the preacher or lecturer. I found that I have nothing to prove, because arguing and debating gets nowhere. How can I argue with an unbeliever? I can only prepare the meal and serve it, but I cannot make anyone eat what I’ve prepared.

Life has many parts -

Last songs to play....
Chris Brown - Run It
Brian McKnight - One Last Cry
Aaliyah - One In A Million
Leela James - Music
Kindred - The Question
Mary J Blige - Be Without You

Affirmative Lemonade

Is it okay to sing in the rain? I have found that people cannot stand you to be happy and at peace because of their problems. People sabotage your day just to bring you down to their level of despondency. True – everyone has issues and problems – but it is simply how you deal with them that allows you to have peace and be happy. People cannot stand you to walk with a content and upbeat nature. They feel that you are just too damn happy. “What are you so damn happy about,” is what they say. I am just looking at the glass full instead of half empty. There is no reason for me to be sad – I woke up and have food on the table and clothes on my back. All of that other stuff is irrelevant. Sure they are nice to haves – the car, the degree, the perks and amenities that come with life, but there is no reason for me to be moa-ping around here as if I am at a funeral burying a friend or loved one. DON’T RAIN ON MY PARADE! Get up and do something to make yourself happy. As Americans and as people, we spend far too much time sulking and moaning over the lemons life gives us. Bitterness, ire, enmity, anger and pain do not solve anything and aren’t productive. They give off “bad molecules” as a motivational speaker once told me. So I’m going to make some affirmative lemonade, you should do the same!

Life has many parts –

Last songs to play….
Gwen Stefani – Luxurious (Remix)
Chamillionaire – Turn It Up
Sean Paul – Temperature
Ray J – One Wish
Rihanna – If It’s Lovin That You Want
Mariah Carey – Don’t Forget About Us

Should I Play The Lottery?

I have been debating something lately. That something is whether or not I will play the Lottery. It’s kind of dumb for me to be debating this, because as my grandfather tells me, “you can’t win if you don’t play.” That is very true, but over the years I’ve watched my parents, aunts and uncles and grandparents “waste” their money on pieces of paper that potentially could make them millionaires. They have yet to win anything over five dollars. It’s fine on occasion to purchase ten tickets grandpa, but not every week. I can put that, ten dollars towards an offering in church or towards some new article of clothing from a store besides one that is anchored on the corners of malls. The odds of the lottery are dreadful too. What is it – 1 in 560,452,937 chances that I’ll win? What luck! That sounds rather contemptuous but true. What chance do I have? But then again, if I don’t play I can’t get that mansion that I want or that Bentley that I plan on having sometime before I leave here. I won’t be able to benefit from the luxuries of having royal treatment at hotels, and restaurants. Of course, I could work like most folk and achieve that but why do that when I can purchase a lotto ticket for a dollar and take my chances. Gambling is not a hobby of mine. I thought about going to Vegas and pullin’ the nickel & dime machines, but I just haven’t had time, plus, what are the odds in me winning? But I may go on the boat when I get to STL…I’ll try anything once.

Life has many parts –

Last songs to play….
Brian McKnight – Find Myself In You
Javier – Indecent Proposal
Paula Abdul – Promise of A New Day
The Dells – The Love We Had
Stevie Wonder – Shelter In The Rain
Mariah Carey – Honey
Janet Jackson – What Have You Done For Me Lately

Eight Friends

I am beginning a story on eight friends. Here are the descriptions of four of them…

Friend #1

She is a high maintenance sista with a taciturn disposition. She hides behind paperbacks and sulky memories that have seeped deeply within her spirit. Her friend has become mundane speech about past relationships that have turned sour. The confessions she retorts are simply what she opts to reveal to her closest confidants. She strives to control what she fears the most. The music that fascinates her is heartrending love songs and morose jazz music. Her predilection in clothing is chic and tasteful hiding the pain she has endured over the years. The relationship she has with family is distant, yet frequent. The woman she calls a mother causes her more heartache than delight and her father is a rather aloof memory that rises every now and then beneath the ashes that are still burning within her. She is a woman that shuns those who help and embraces those who have ruined her cognitive faculties. Looking at her from the outside, one would think she has it all under control. Underneath the imminent body, the pair of sunglasses she recurrently wears and lip gloss, there is much to be desired.

Friend #2

He is caught between two personalities. There is no sign of disassociate identity disorder or schizophrenia, but he has mental problems. His self-esteem is rather low because he adopts the traits of his fellow peers, however, these peers are the bottom of the barrel. Behind the laughs and the smiles, there is nothing but a clone. His reflection is that of whatever happens to be around him at the time. He has no divergent behavior pattern of his own.

Friend #3

She appears to be kind, yet is rather narcissistic. The narcissicism is hidden behind a laid back attitude that she views as benevolent. Her fervor is for the next best conquest, but her desire is to sooth the solitude inside. She is savoir-faire and urbane, but extremely sly. Her enchantment is in the grief of others because of her conceit. She is a leech that sucks everything dry that will allow her to.

Friend #4

He is a conventional individual dealing with addictions to alcohol, smoking and pornography. Despair is beginning to set in because of his lack of tolerance to let relationships blossom. He walks around on top of the world, yet his world is crumbling everyday. He alleviates his tumultuous issues with a puff of a cigarette, a few rounds of shoddy liquor and some amateur sex flicks. The women find him lovable, yet discover he is more than they bargained for.

Life has many parts -

Last songs to play…
Groove Armada – Serve Chilled
G Trance Point – Kristall
The Surfers – Paradise Island
Brian Culbertson – Hookin Up
Pieces of A Dream – Night Vision
Massive Attack – Black Milk
Jeff Golub – Simple Pleasures
Greg Adams – The Crossing

Get Happy

What does it truly mean to be happy? I know we are promised life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but how does one specifically find happiness? And how can you know when you have truly found it? Some people say money doesn’t buy happiness, as if happiness is a product in a store or something you purchase in a catalog. Money is not a means to happiness, it is simply something to use in order to obtain pleasures and enchant fantasies. Others say that happiness results from that special someone. I believe that there is someone for everyone. But how do you know when that someone has come across? Have we been walking by our soul mates and been oblivious to them? Happiness is defined by Merriam Webster as “the state of well-being.” At least they did not say the state of being happy. I have found happiness over the past few years in just being alive. It is astonishing just to rise in the morning and know that I am still here on this Earth for some reason. I guess each and everyone of us has a specific definition of what happiness is to them. I have seen happiness of the course of my years on this planet. I have seen a woman’s smile when she received a diamond ring from Zales from her fiancé. I have seen a baby’s face light up when he or she is tickled or when a child licks an ice cream cone. But can we define these eyewitness accounts as happiness or are these simply congenial experiences gratified by the usage of money. That brings up some very important reasoning is that by using these experiences or any other pleasurable experience, it can be traced back to money. Thus, it is feasible to say that money can buy happiness, right? I think if I had a couple of millions stashed away and was using it on extravagant cars, profligate clothes, fine dining and the like, I’d be satisfying my fantasies or rather dreams born out of a screwball definition of happiness. I am quite happy right now typing this away for you to read it, but if I am promised the pursuit of happiness and am content right now, have I really pursued happiness or has happiness pursued me? I did not mean to get all philosophical or rather confusing here, it is just something my mind thought up while I was sitting here smiling and enjoying what I was promised.

Life has many parts, what does it truly mean to have something?

Last songs to play….
Sean Paul – Temperature
Mary J Blige – Be Without You
Chris Brown – Yo
Faith Evans – Tru Love
Ashanti – Still On It
Pussycat Dolls - Stickwitu

The Ramblings of A 21 Year Old

I was talking with a friend of mine two nights ago. I had not talked on the phone that long since junior high school. I was kind of worried though because I had no ear bud in and they tell me you can get cancer from the radiation. She was telling me that I should have some pride about my university. "Buy an alumni tag, or a keychain," she said. I thought about it and I'll save my money. I can put it towards something worthwhile. Can't you sense my bitterness? I thought it would be gone but there is still a small smidgen that remains and every now and then it will rise up and I become a totally different person. I almost went off on a Circuit City lady the other day. The words were on the tip of my tongue. Sometimes you just gotta slapahoe or hitabitch, my friend tells me. It makes you feel better, but I have never hit a woman and will not ever regardless of how she treats me or makes me feel. I am adjusting to not having anything to do for awhile. It feels pretty darn good. I am relaxing darn near everyday. I have picked up some good reading material - The Hip Hoptionary. An educational piece. It is quite fascinating to learn what gank means as well as metaphorplay. I think I will start using some them on a day to day basis. I have to challenge a grade - hmm....I thought I was quite through with HU. That rhymes. I am trying to be civil but this class was so trivial that they should just give everyone an A just for going, but not muaw. I have to deal with challenging the grade. I started just to leave it alone, but something told me to challenge the dumb woman. I want to see just how she arrived at that grade. In the words of Madea, "she gon te-lllll me."

Life has many parts, te-lllll me about em.