Keeping Up Appearances Part One: Parasites & Leeches
Warning: This post might be interpreted as being very harsh, but it is merely me allowing myself to put closure on certain things.
I have found in all my years of schooling that there is this proclivity of people to pretend or keep up phony pretenses. We are brainwashed at an early age to wear a mask and hide behind it. No one is capable of being themselves – because we are so focused on what others think about us. We use this mask when we search for friendships and relationships with others. People begin to attach to the mask we wear and thus when something changes or challenges their predilection of what they are use to they are quick to exit our presence. Recently, I made the decision that I needed to rid myself of dead weight – which has been talked about in many of the past posts. There are things that people do that make you question their relationship with you. How much do we value the relationships we have with people? As many readers know, I decided to throw a birthday party about a week and a half after my birthday and I gave advance notice to several people who I wanted to come and many invitations were confirmed. Now, of course, you cannot be mad at the fact that people do not show up to your celebration but you can question how they approach not coming. One person whose relationship I valued decided to take a blasé and rather uncouth approach by telling someone else who was going to the party that she could not make it. That approach was rather questionable – at least in my eyes it was – because the person has a tendency or had a tendency to call me when the person needed to go to Target or the grocery store and did not have the decency to call me and let me know. Instead the person had to circumvent the situation by going through another person. You might say I am blowing this all out of proportion and that’s fine – but put yourself in my shoes. It might just make you question this relationship you have with this person. How close are we exactly? People do not always realize what they are doing until they do but I have a distinct thought that the person knew exactly what they was doing. Now again, it was not the fact that the person did not come – but it was how it was handled. What I’ve found through my 21 years on this Earth is that you are always there for people, but they seem to be absent when you need them? So has this person been keeping up appearances all this time, by using the niceness that I exhibit to their benefit. I began to look more closely at people and began observing people more and more and I have found that good people are hard to come by. But then again I have to factor into the equation that often times people do not rehearse their actions before they do them. Perhaps, I am the only one who has this perception, but I highly doubt it. The keeping appearances issue then has to be predicated on the advantages that a person has. Why pretend with someone if you cannot use them to your advantage? There is no need to consult or deal with someone who you cannot use. I began to search far & wide at the parasites and leeches I seem to be attracting in my life considering many of the so-called friends I have are. This brings up a point that I’ve brought up in previous posts: is there such a thing as friendship? Well, I truly believe – No. I believe that you attract people around you that you can do things with that have the potential of being a long time associate but I do not believe friendships exist. You could possibly say that my reasoning stems from the events and experiences that I have gone through dealing with leeches and parasites. I had to question myself as to the types of people I attract and determine if there is something within me that is attracting manipulators, users and calculating individuals. I found that there is nothing within me – it is just that people take kindness for weakness and prey upon. I was once called guarded – which I’ve always thought was interesting. I could surmise that this guardedness has come from people diabolically twisting my nice and laid back personality as some type of crippling trait of mine.
Life has many parts......you win some parts, you lose some parts.
I have found in all my years of schooling that there is this proclivity of people to pretend or keep up phony pretenses. We are brainwashed at an early age to wear a mask and hide behind it. No one is capable of being themselves – because we are so focused on what others think about us. We use this mask when we search for friendships and relationships with others. People begin to attach to the mask we wear and thus when something changes or challenges their predilection of what they are use to they are quick to exit our presence. Recently, I made the decision that I needed to rid myself of dead weight – which has been talked about in many of the past posts. There are things that people do that make you question their relationship with you. How much do we value the relationships we have with people? As many readers know, I decided to throw a birthday party about a week and a half after my birthday and I gave advance notice to several people who I wanted to come and many invitations were confirmed. Now, of course, you cannot be mad at the fact that people do not show up to your celebration but you can question how they approach not coming. One person whose relationship I valued decided to take a blasé and rather uncouth approach by telling someone else who was going to the party that she could not make it. That approach was rather questionable – at least in my eyes it was – because the person has a tendency or had a tendency to call me when the person needed to go to Target or the grocery store and did not have the decency to call me and let me know. Instead the person had to circumvent the situation by going through another person. You might say I am blowing this all out of proportion and that’s fine – but put yourself in my shoes. It might just make you question this relationship you have with this person. How close are we exactly? People do not always realize what they are doing until they do but I have a distinct thought that the person knew exactly what they was doing. Now again, it was not the fact that the person did not come – but it was how it was handled. What I’ve found through my 21 years on this Earth is that you are always there for people, but they seem to be absent when you need them? So has this person been keeping up appearances all this time, by using the niceness that I exhibit to their benefit. I began to look more closely at people and began observing people more and more and I have found that good people are hard to come by. But then again I have to factor into the equation that often times people do not rehearse their actions before they do them. Perhaps, I am the only one who has this perception, but I highly doubt it. The keeping appearances issue then has to be predicated on the advantages that a person has. Why pretend with someone if you cannot use them to your advantage? There is no need to consult or deal with someone who you cannot use. I began to search far & wide at the parasites and leeches I seem to be attracting in my life considering many of the so-called friends I have are. This brings up a point that I’ve brought up in previous posts: is there such a thing as friendship? Well, I truly believe – No. I believe that you attract people around you that you can do things with that have the potential of being a long time associate but I do not believe friendships exist. You could possibly say that my reasoning stems from the events and experiences that I have gone through dealing with leeches and parasites. I had to question myself as to the types of people I attract and determine if there is something within me that is attracting manipulators, users and calculating individuals. I found that there is nothing within me – it is just that people take kindness for weakness and prey upon. I was once called guarded – which I’ve always thought was interesting. I could surmise that this guardedness has come from people diabolically twisting my nice and laid back personality as some type of crippling trait of mine.
Life has many parts......you win some parts, you lose some parts.
posted by The Intellectual Brotha at
3:00 PM
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