Back 2 Whatcha Know

It has been pretty morbid lately with the change in weather. I have found comfort in the rain though – the sound of it slashing against my window really helps me sleep at night. I have been cooped up in my room for the past week or so doing a lot of thinking because that is what you do when you’re alone – think. I found that it is very meditational (is that a word?) That is why people do not like to be alone too long, because they start to think about the issues and problems in their life and they discover that everything is not always peachy. There is another reason I’ve been in my room, for the past week my wrist has been hurting badly. Luckily, I am finding some relief with a bottle of Bayer and Vitamin B6: (just in case it is carpal tunnel). I decided to go back to what I know – being the person I was before I came here. I have somehow become quite complacent in my everyday life. I have been trying to adapt to my environment and bond with folks – who do not deserve to be around me in general. You could say I have put myself on a high horse – but each and every one of us has the right to choose who we want to deal with. I was once asked if I act differently in Los Angeles, than I do in Washington, DC. I have a different attitude when I am in Los Angeles versus when I am here in DC – partly because people are just different here. You would think that all of these people who come to DC to get a quality education would want quality friendships but I have met some group of folks who make ruthless seem munificent. I wish I were young sometimes because I was definitely able to discern people better but I am grown now and can’t do some of the things I used to do. I wish I could redo some of the decisions I made over the past few years. They say not to have regrets and not to dread the day of small beginnings, but I’ve been treated more like trash these last three years than I have been appreciated. I have found that people do not value the people they come across. I have found that people will shake your hand and when you turn your back they talk negatively and scheme to use what you have. For the past three years I have been accepting and taking it and taking it and taking it and taking it – taking the manipulation, the usage, the backstabbing, but no more – I am going back to what I know and what I do best.

Life has many parts, sometimes you have to go back to whatcha know and whatcha know best.