Relationship 102: Welcome To The Longest Blog

I have taken two long hard days to write such a blog specifically thinking about what I was going to write about. I thought about it and decided to pick up where Relationship 101 left off, although, it was kind of aways back. You might have to pull it from the posts and re-read it, however, I doubt it because this blog will be long enough for you to get what I was trying to get across to you, the reader. First, if you are reading this then you know that it will be the longest blog I've written thus far or one that I am making longer than many others have been. This blog might and probably will anger individuals who are my friends, but that is what I am in the business of doing. I am consciously doing this and I believe that it needed to be written. Since I somehow have been deemed the doctor of love, K-Love, that is I figured I'd better get to working. Yes, I have declared that I am sick of it, but I actually am thinking about pursuing a career in psychology. So....welcome to Relationship 102. Hold on tight it might be a bumpy ride. I begin with relationships. Relationships, hmm, I have been in a few, probably less than most think. Why? Because relationships require work that I am not quite ready to put in yet. I sometimes wonder why it is so needy for young adults like myself to have a desire to be in a relationship. Yes, we all want companionship, however, what you want is not always what you need. We all want love. Love that is patient, love that is kind, a love that protects and trusts, puts smiles and joy in our hearts. But most of us are not willing to work for that love otherwise we'd be in relationships. Well, I take that back one of my friends here at Howard is in a relationship and from what I can tell they are quite happy together. Another one of my friends is dealing with the decision to pursue a female he tried to pursue once before. Another is struggling with liking two females and from what I see, he just might be settling for one because he is concerned about what will happen with the other. Which brings up my point about young adults being ready for loving relationships that we only dream of. All of us seek this loving relationship, but do we really find it at this stage in life? Another one of my friends is getting married in due time and another is currently in the process of forming a relationship although she swore off Howard men. All of my friends seem to want what they deserve - loving relationships that they can enjoy for a long period of time. However, what they fail to see is that things have to happen gradually. With time, things happen. Love does not occur over night and neither can a good relationship. Again wanting something is not always what you need. Be careful about jumping into things too early because often times it is not always what it's cracked up to be. We sometimes look at the outer appearance and govern ourselves accordingly. Our desires come out. We seem to prey on the beautiful and fine individuals running around. But appearances are deceiving. As far as my friend who is thinking about re-pursuing a female that he tried to pursue once again, he claims that he is worried because it seems as though he cannot read the pursuee actions or motives, but from what I have observed, he is afraid of being scorned. I can relate, however, if he does not do anything, he'll regret it and always wonder what if. Our desires become a hunger that we need to feed. As far as my friend who is caught up between the choice of the two women, my thoughts on this are that he is more interested in one and will choose the other. I think he should pursue the one he is feeling a little more, because some women do enjoy the chase and women who are preoccupied with work tend to have little time for relationships. For my friend who has sworn off HU men, yet is currently in discussion with one, I say that that relationship could potentially work out, but there will always be a nagging fear - and if the friend is reading this then the friend knows what fear I am referring to. Relationships are very interesting and fascinating. They are what give us pleasure and desire. We rely on our heart to guide us in the right direction towards a loving soul mate. We often move too quickly and later regret our choices because what you want is not always what you need. I learned that the hard way. At one point, I just wanted a relationship and it ended up being one of the worst choices I have ever made in my life. I did not think about the consequences of my choice and thought with my pianis instead of my mind. I was pressed for some companionship and to this day I cannot believe I ever rushed things. So I say do not rush things, let things happen naturally. Often times, we want love so bad that we make hasty decisions. We meet that perfect person or what we view as the perfect mate and are often blinded by what is really standing in front of us. Your pursuee may smell good, look good, but may not be good for you. Love is a waiting game most of the time because typically the person we get into a relationship do we rearely end up with, which is why it is very important to get to know the person before making the decision to pursue them like a vulture. Who am I to really give advice though? I have only been in a few relationships. What do I really know about love? Not too much, all of this is just what I've observed. People are easy to read when you have long discussions with them. You just have to talk to them long enough to really get to know what kind of person you are dealing with. There are eight types of individuals that typically cross your path: 1) The Pretender - this person pretends, plain and simple. Usually this person is up to no good and is usually out to scheme on you; 2) The Hedon - this person is more concerned with the good life, they pride themselves on having good experiences, yet underneath the exterior, pleasure excites them and they do not need relationships to make them happy; 3) The Lone - this person is never satisfied with being alone and always awaiting companionship and someone to overwhelm them with romance; 4) The Crusher - this person is one who seeks attention from others to boost their ego if they are not the center of attention, they are easily angered; 5) The Analyzer - although by the title, one might think they analyze everything, however, this person cannot decide what to do in situations. They rely on others to decide for them or base their decisions on the advice of others. 6) The Actor - this person cannot stand being idle or bored, they also tend to enjoy causing drama and they use this drama to their advantage; 7) The Baby - these individuals are caught up with their outward appearances and are more focused on what others think of them; they sometimes use past experiences to predict future experiences and they fear rejection; 8) The Counselor - this person is always thinking hard about things, they tend to give advice to others and always tend to want to help others instead of solving their own problems. Most people have qualities of more than one, however, deep down their personality rests on the description of one of these eight. For example, I consider myself more of a Hedon, however, I have counselor qualities. Which one of you? You may read them and decide you are not any, but I highly doubt it. There are two more tha you may coincide with. They are the Impudent - an individual who is witty and works on the minds of others to aid in their personal gain and is very extreme in relationships and is the most desirable by both men and women. The other one is Fascinator, this person is usually hard to pinpoint because he/she is always hard to read. They are often elusive and sometimes take on the qualities of each individual type. These are observations that I have made and have come up with because I have come across all 10 of these. An ex-friend of mine in my opinion is a crusher. Crushers are usually thought of to be sociopaths. Everyone likes attention do not get me wrong, but often people cling to Crushers, whereas they are inticed by a Pretender or a Hedon. There are many fascinators in the world and because they are hard to read, you will not know a fascinator until you have fallen prey to them. A person knows if he/she is a fascinator because they pride themselves on being elusive and enjoy being the subject of discussion because no one can say anything about them. So by now you have probably figured out which one you are. There are positives and negatives to each one. I will go into further discussion in one of the next blogs. But for now, I bid you farewell. For homework, I advise you to take relationships slow because what you want is not always what you need. Okay maybe this blog wasn't as long as I thought.