THE HEART OF THE MATTER

The name of this is the heart of the matter. When you get right down to it, what is life all about? Why are we here on this Earth? What is God's or for all the non-believers out there was HIS plan? I began to think about these questions. Do not ask me why, I just did. I was in my room for a brief moment before my Advanced Radio Class partly because I missed my Marketing class for the fourth time this semester. I pulled out my trusty iPod...you know the one that crashed about a week ago. I have filled it up to about 500 songs so far. It's good enough for now. I started listening to some Miles Davis and his style is very good. It's good spring music. So I continued to think about other things. For example, why women somehow only see me as a friend? Why I seem to be more mature than others around here? Why is it that I have my shit together and others do not? I came across some information today that blew me away. Two pieces of information. And I began to wonder what is it all about? Really, why am I attending HU? Why am I not in the Bahamas chillin on the beach sippin a virgin drink? You know I do not drink. What is it about me that makes me, me? These questions are mind-boggling when you actually think about it. I think a lot probably because there is so much to think about it. Thoughts are endless. The heart of the matter. Well first what is the matter? What is what? Why was what invented? See what happens when you think of things. The matter seems to be what is my purpose? I seem to be taking up space in my dorm. Why do I have a select group of friends? What led me to choose them as friends? Why do I not have a real love interest? Why is senior year fastly approaching and I have yet to really explore DC? I really sat and thought today, which is something I haven't done in a long time. Miles Davis will do that to you. Well, any jazz for that matter. Jazz is so improvisational, kind of like life one day is so different from the other. One morning you may get up and have time to make waffles and the next you may be rushing to your class. Things are so up in the air. I do know where I want to go in life. I want to be in entertainment law and out of the district. Why you ask? Because the district has not really brought me anything that I see useful in my existence. GOD's plan put me @ Howard University, and for the most part I have had a good experience except in the love department. That is a department still needing assitance partly because women seem to see me only as their confidant and friend, therapist and anything else but their man. I somehow seem to ward off other females because they look @ me like I am the gum on the sidewalk whenever I walk past them. I can't even say hi without them ignoring me. These are all things I thought about today before Advanced Radio Production. For a good hour and a half too. I have never thought so long about anything. Well, yes I have, but not something like this. As I sitting here writing this, Miles Davis plays once again as the sun begins to set. I casually glance out the window and wonder if I somehow have been cursed in the love department. The Pan Piper by Miles Davis really has an interesting rhythm. Why did Miles Davis choose to compose such a complex melody? Why am I feeling this song so much? It's more than 40 years old. I wasn't even born when he wrote this melody. I seem to be more and more focused now. Focused in thought. Thinking. Thinking of all of these things that I have written thus far in this blog. By the way, did you know blog is becoming a trend? Yep. Miles Davis' song has ended and now the iPod has switched to Brian McKnight's One Last Cry, which is one of my favorite slow jams of all time. I have to turn it off because I am sad. Sad because I am all alone on a Wednesday night. I have friends and all but I am getting fed up with being nothing more than that to females on this campus. I guess things can only get worse before they get better. Why is that? Why have I not stopped this song? Why have I not charged my iPOD? Why have I not ended this blog? Why did I even start a blog to begin with? Why do I continue to be lonely night after night while people tell me about their romantic escapades? Why ask why? And I still haven't stopped the song. Why haven't I ended this blog? WHY? I guess that is the burning question at the heart of the matter. Whatever that may be. I don't know you tell me because if I keep on this blog may never end. - No poignant life has many parts one liners in this part.