When The Apples Turn Brown

I am flipping through the pages of the crevices of my mind. I am purging nauseating thoughts and unnecessaries. I am reminded of the trap that I was hooked on. I was a brown apple that needed a hint of lemon juice on it and I have finally received that lemon juice. Lately, I have noticed that the environment that I exist in has changed quite a bit as has the people. I am not surprised by this partly because I was told that there would be some leeches and parasites that I would have to rid myself of if I were ever to go to the next level in my spirituality and walk with God. Of course, that means changing - changing for the better. Over the past few months, I have been searching and flipping through the pages of my mind going over every experience that I have encountered over the last three years and I have come to the conclusion that I have been carrying around things in my life that are not needed. I started to wonder what these things were and I found the answer. I was reading my Bible and Psalm 18:3-6 got my attention. It says I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies. The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grace coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.
For a few months now, I have been praying. Praying that God reveal to me the unnecessaries that are dragging me down and messing with my schema and as I am going along I am finding out where the extra baggage is coming from. I used to sit by myself on Friday and Saturday nights wondering why it was that I was not being invited anywhere by the people I call friends. Then I stopped and thought, were these really my friends. I mean they'd invite me when it was convenient for them or when they felt like seeing my face and being in my presence but were they really my friends. This question seemed to pop up constantly in my mind and thus the prayer began. I spent awhile trying to answer this question. I received the answer and it shocked me at first, but I thank the Lord that HE revealed to me, who is really my friend and who isn't. That answer is safe inside my heart and as I continue my walk with God, I am being revealed more & more about just what is irking in the lives of the people who I am around. Why did it take me so long to figure this out? Could God have been trying to show me this awhile ago and I was just missing the signs?
There is an old saying that the Lord works in mysterious ways. There was a reason why I am thinking these thoughts and questioning, partly because I got sick of being by myself watching old re-runs of In Living Color and drinking hot chocolate on a Friday night. I recall an incident that occurred sophomore year, when a friend had called me and had asked me if I wanted to go to the movies. I said cool and the friend told me that I would get a call when they were going to go to the movies, yet I never received the call. The time came and went for the movie. I was left sitting in my room having to pop my own popcorn and drink my own Coca Cola. That was a sign right there because a friend calls you back, especially if they have asked you to go somewhere with them, but the "friend" didn't. I brushed it off like I do many, many things but not anymore. Let's get this straight however, I am not singing a poor me song (although it might sound like it) nor I am asking for your sympathy nor am I expecting the orchestra to cue violins and violas; what I am simply trying to express is my revelation. You can have people baggage that need to be left on the carousel and that is what I have currently. There are some parasites that need to be swatted. I have prayed all this time and no longer will this prayer be prayed. I will replace it with another prayer since God has already given me the answer to my prayer. I am now able to see what I was ignoring before and betcha by golly wow, it's a whopper. I have to go now, my apples are beginning to turn brown again and applying lemon juice a second time might not be the best thing to do.