Gospel Lyrics VIII

This is by far one of Cece Winans' best songs. One of those songs that will make you cry when you hear it. Taken from her release, "Alabaster Box."

VERSE 1
The room grew still as she made her way to Jesus
She stumbles through the tears that made her blind
She felt such pain, some spoke in anger
Heard folks whisper, there's no place here for her kind
Still on she came, through the shame that flushed her face
Until at last she knelt before His feet. And though she spoke no words
Everything she said was heard, As she poured her love for the Master
From her box of Alabaster

CHORUS
And I've come to pour my praise on Him like oil from Mary's Alabaster Box
Don't be angry if I wash His feet with my tears and I dry them with my hair
You weren't there the night He found me
You did not feel what I felt when He wrapped His love all around me
And you don't know the cost of the oil in my Alabaster Box

VERSE 2
I can't forget the way life used to be
I was a prisoner to the sin that had me bound
I spent my days pouring my life without measure
Into a little treasure box I thought I found
Until the day when Jesus came to me
And healed my soul with the wonder of His touch
So now I'm giving back to Him all the praise He's worthy of
I've been forgiven and that's why I love Him so much

CHORUS
And I've come to pour my praise on Him like oil from Mary's Alabaster Box
Don't be angry if I wash His feet with my tears And I dry them with my hair, my hair
You weren't there the night Jesus found me
You did not feel what I felt When He wrapped His love all around me
And you don't know the cost of the oil Oh, you don't know the cost of my praise
You don't know the cost of the oil
In my Alabaster Box.

Where Would I Be Without You

Music has always been something that I enjoyed listening to. I can turn on a song and drift into a place where all of my troubles melt away or I can relax if I am angry because I just received a bad grade on an exam or a paper. Music seems to be my psychiatric care. I listen to all types of music, although, I prefer some more than others. Anyone who knows me, knows that I enjoy old school music. It has always surprised some people that a 21-yr old African American male can even stand to listen to the Beach Boys or a Stevie Wonder song. I am not the norm - when it comes to music. If you were to open my cd case or turn on my iPod, you would find anything from Switchfoot to Donovan to Michael Jackson to Billy Joel, you might even find some Mozart or Bessie Smith. Music has always been apart of my life since I was two or three years old. My mother and father always tell me that I used to drag records around on the carpet and play them on my Sesame Street record player. Good thing I don't remember A-tracks, I'm not that old to. There are some songs that pierce the heart and ones that you remember from childhood. I first started from what I can remember listening to alternative/rock music. There was something about the guitar that tingled my ears. My first cd that I purchased was Green Day's "Dookie," which is the staple CD of their career, although they've had other songs that are etched in my memory like "Time of Your Life," which I played over & over when I first got that cd and "Brain Stew," and even the new hits like "Holiday" and "Wake Me Up When..." But there are some songs that just stay with you like Paula Cole's "I Don't Wanna Wait," or No Doubt's "Just A Girl," even Arrested Development's "Mr. Wendal." Those are my oldie but goodies. Just think 20 years from now we'll be hearing those hits on stations that now play The Rolling Stones and Steppenwolf, The Supremes and Gladys Knight. It is almost unimaginable how much will change over the next 20 years since it has already evolved into something since the emergence of staple songs in the 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s. Then there are songs that remind me of good times like: "Candy Rain" by Soul 4 Real, "Funky Y 2 C," by The Puppies, "Scarred" by Luke and "Rodeo," by 95 South. All of these songs remind me of my summer camp days. Then there are those one hit wonders like "Mambo #5," "Are You Jimmy Ray?" and "Mr.Personality" that creep up on you. Or how about Gina G's "A Little Bit More" or Duice's "Dazzy Dukes," these songs are forever remembered by anyone who grew up during that time. And then there are songs that you listen to when you are feeling down or at least I do like: Nina Simone's "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood," Goo Goo Dolls' "Iris," even though that is a love song, Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah," and anything mellow from Diana Krall or John Mayer. I think music has shaped each and everyone of our lives for the better. Whether it is hip-hop like Missy, Fabolous, or Ludacris; R&B like Alicia Keys, Kindred and Mariah Carey or country like Travis Tritt, The Dixie Chicks and Toby Keith or bubblegum pop like The Backstreet Boys or Britney Spears, where would we be without music?, more importantly, where would I be?

Bueno y Malo

The value of a person is not what is on the outside, contrary to popular belief, but it is what is on the inside. Most of the time when we get to know people we get to know them based on their superficiality. People seldom take the time to get to know someone’s heart and their mind. They could care less. We live in a world that is full of people who are takers and take pleasure in devouring whoever they can – at whatever cost. The sad part is that for every good person on this Earth, there are fifty or so bad folk. The even more interesting thing here is that the bad folk envisage themselves as good. No one likes to announce or show that they are up to no good or do not have good intentions towards you. If bad things told you that they were bad then Bruce Wayne would never had to head to the bat cave and change into Batman to chase down the Riddler or the Joker; Hansel & Gretel would have never ended up in the oven; and there would no need for the word: stranger in Webster’s Dictionary. I have found as I observe people more that people are always hiding something. They are never up front with you about who they are or what they want from you. Relationships would be so much easier if people would lay their cards out on the table. It would, or could possibly save all the pain and anguish that comes with a breakup. It strikes up the concept of the wolf and the sheep. There are many wolves in this world seeking to gobble and chow down on some sheep wool. There are many sheep in this world too, who have trouble discerning the wolves, typically because wolves parade around in sheep’s clothing. The concept is quite interesting and definitely worth studying when you get a chance. The world is full of self-righteous, individualistic people who are only out for self. This is why there is conflict and death. This is why trust is such a hard thing for most people. No one can trust anybody or anything because people are unreliable and questionable. Their words say one thing, but their actions reveal something else. The question then becomes, how do you react when you discover who is a wolf is sheep’s clothing? How do you smile in their face all the while knowing what they’ve done? That question is difficult to answer because it depends solely on the circumstance and the parties involved, however, it is said to overcome evil with good in the Bible, so everyone should forgive, but not forget. We have to then apply the 3 strikes, you’re out routine to the person. Everyone deserves a second chance and even a third if we apply that law, but after the third strike, how can we forgive? I am convinced that for every sheep there is a dozen wolves seeking to control, annihilate and hurt the sheep. Discernment is a great gift from God to have because you begin to spot wolves more easily because HE gives you revelation about the shenanigans and machinations of the people you deal with on a daily basis. But even after revelation from God about situations and people, we still have a hard time dealing with the truth. This is why scorned lovers continue being friends, why people continue being friends with people who have wronged them. The truth is served before us on a silver platter and yet we ignore it. There is an inconsistency between the heart and the head. The head can say one thing, but the heart can say another. Your head is telling you – to end the thing, but the heart is telling you that the individual means well. Which do you follow? There are some who follow their head and others follow their heart. Genuine gut feeling is what I particularly follow. That urge or feeling that you get inside of you tells you a lot about people and situations. But often times we still ignore that for fear of letting go of un-necessaries and things that are simply not meant to be. We all need to be better people observers because it can save you a lot of shock, hurt and pain down the road, but unfortunately life doesn’t work that way.

Life has many parts, some good, some bad.

Last songs to play on the iPod…
Jason Mraz – The Remedy
Seether – Broken
Click Five – Just The Girl
Nickelback – Photograph
Eve 6 – Inside Out
Presidents of The United States – Peaches
Deftones – Be Quiet & Drive
Switchfoot – Stars
DMB – Tripping Billies
Rob Thomas – This Is How A Heart Breaks
Bush – Everything Zen
Pearl Jam – Animal
Guns & Roses – Paradise City
Hot Hot Heat – Middle of Nowhere

Becoming Apparent Part Three: A Gulp of Aquafina & A Sip of Mango Lemonade

I have been very tired lately. Tired of dealing with the motions of getting up everyday and going to class and then coming back to my dorm room sitting by myself watching some re-run of My Wife & Kids or Steve Harvey. It gets pretty boring. But I find it better than dealing with the rudimentary characteristics of many of the people I deal with. The whole concept of this is very troubling, but I found a antidote – pour myself a glass of mango lemonade and take a sip. It is unsullied mango lemonade purchased from Whole Foods. I find myself drifting away whenever I take a sip of that cool and mellow drink. It allows me to relax. I envision myself on an island relaxing by the ocean waves, but alas that is not how it is. I am moving within a university with people who spend their lives wondering what kind of clothes they are going to wear to the club or what bottle of alcohol they are going to put in a blender. It’s actually quite nauseating to watch people throw their lives down the drain. I am tired of dealing with people who are self-centered as many of the people I know are. I have come to know that people see me as some pleasant and frail individual who succumbs to the pitiful-ness, if that is even a word, of those around me. I always seem to be somebody’s shoulder to cry on, but I have found that whenever I need to cry on someone’s shoulder – no one is to be found. How quaint is that? The riveting thing here is that I ignore it and tell myself that maybe it’s just me thinking these odd thoughts. Perhaps, it is my perception that has me feeling that most of the people I associate with do not have my best interest at heart. But I have found that usually perception in my case, has been reality. So what I am feeling on the inside about certain individuals is most likely the case. The convolution of the associates I have is that we are all close or were to some extent close, as it appeared, but somehow we allowed a virus to taint our group, and everyone, or almost everyone has been infected with the virus. By the way, the virus I’m referring to is not biological. After several experiences I had with these people, I began to wonder what kind of junk am I dealing with here? It all began to sink in after some deep mediation and revelation that I have been dealing with junk for along time. People only consult with me when they want me around or when it is convenient for them to enjoy my presence. I did however bring this on myself by not getting out to meet more people – I instead allowed myself to hang out with a small amount of people, and after many revelatory experiences of being left out of the so-called “group,” I took it upon myself to find peace alone and I made the ultimate decision to leave this place, which is the main reason why I am leaving this place in December, not so much because I have enough credits, but I am sick of dealing with this place and many people. You could say I am running away, that is fine – your opinion in the matter is trivial and does not really matter. I am literally tired of being here. They say not to abhor the day of small beginnings and I do not by any means. I was told that you have many associates, in this life, but few friends. I am delighted in the few friends I have but there are some things that people do that just hurt and crush you and you begin to wonder why you ever decided to deal with them in the first place? I guess it is all a matter of interpretation of the events or experiences, but for now I take a gulp of Aquafina and keep on moving towards purifying my life of ruinous rubbish and filtering out those things that I can do without.

Slow Jams Revisited

Here are a few more slow jams....

1) Floetry - Supastar
-This is Floetry's best song in my opinion. This is their new single.

2) Kindred - The Question
-Kindred's newest hit. Anything they do is a classic, but this song will definitely have you pushing repeat.

3) Toni Braxton - Trippin
-Toni came back with a good cd. Check out this track.

4) Babyface - Grown & Sexy
-I particularly like the beat to this track, but it's a mellow groove.

5) Eric Benet - I Wanna Be Loved
-Good song; the album is decent too - up there with "Spend My Life"

6) Charlie Wilson - Magic
-With the success of "Charlie Last Name Wilson," this song is a mix between slow & fast. They are calling this his step song, but I disagree.

7) Brian McKnight - Back Seat
-A forgotten song of his, worth putting on a playlist.

8) Anita Baker - Talk To Me
-One of her hits off of Compostions, this is classic Anita.

9) Teena Marie - My Body's Hungry
-She's still got it.

10) Lyfe - Hypothetically
-Set to be his next single, this song is similar to Cry, but very good.

11) St-Germain - Sure Thing
-I like this song particularly because it's different & distinct - not necessarily a slow jam but mellow.

12) Nat King Cole - Orange Colored Sky
-Classic Nat King Cole, if you're goin for an old school feel.

13) Sade - Cherry Pie
-A hit of hers, that is often forgotten

14) Lauren Wood - Fallen
-If you've seen Pretty Woman, you'll know it.

15) Michael Bolton - Missing You Now
-One of his biggest hits - definitely slow jam worthy.

16) Terrence Trent D'arby - Sign Your Name
-He's more know for Wishing Well, but this song was a big hit of his.

17) Taylor Dayne - Love Will Lead You Back
-I like her style.

18) The Platters - Smoke Gets In Your Eyes
-A decent old school slow jam.

19) Keyshia Cole - I Shoulda Cheated
-Her newest single.

20) Gary Taylor - Woman of Color
-One of those songs you'll hear at a lounge or a low-key club.

Life has many parts, ah, you thought I had forgotten my catch phrase...nope.

Becoming Apparent Part Two: Bittersweet Moments

There is one thing that is momentous about living, the threat of dying. As monotonous and melancholic as that sounds, it is rather bona fide. We get up everyday to fulfill our job, our collegiate careers, to put food on the table and to live life to the so-called fullest; all of this of course, while having to deal with people and the situations that we experience. I have found that each experience you go through, you learn something from it that you take with you into that next experience. Sometimes the knowledge you receive or gain from that specific occurrence helps you to ripen into a better individual. Other times it is simply something to teach you about people and the real world. On Saturday, I went out to eat for my 21st birthday. It was one of the most memorable birthdays I’ve had. I can honestly say that it opened my eyes to many things. It was a time of laughter and craziness, partly because we had waited for 2 & ½ hours for a table at the Cheesecake Factory and finally decided to go to eat at Clyde’s, which was down the street. Clyde’s has a demure atmosphere and somewhat chic ambiance. I’d compare it to the exquisite setting of a Walt’s Wharf or a Sicily, which happen to be restaurants in California. If you have ever been to these restaurants then you’ll know what I’m talking about. If not – too bad, I advise you purchase a plane ticket on Travelocity or Expedia and visit those restaurants. It is definitely a night that will be etched in my mind. There are moments that are bittersweet and rather unforgettable to a person, and that night was unquestionably one of them. Moreover, I think that I will remember that night more than many other celebrations because I am exiting this place in December and I won’t have another twenty-first birthday, unless as my grandfather puts it: “you live til you’re a hundred and twenty-one.” You could say my 21st birthday was memorable and distinct and is definitely going in the book, which by the way I’ve tweaked a little. It was truly the Last Supper (inside joke for those who were present) because I doubt that I will be dining with that amount of people for awhile, or at least before I vanish from this city. There are times and moments that you want to put in a journal and store in a box and several years later pull it out and read it and that night was one of those nights. So thank you to all who came….my 21st was undeniably a birthday I’ll never forget.

Becoming Apparent Part One: It Pays To Pray

I constructed this post while eating some cheddar cheese rice cakes and drinking grape juice. I seem to recall where I am today, and where I was a year ago this time. I said to myself, have you really moved forward or are you going around in circles? I began to scrutinize this question further to see where I am mentally, physically and spiritually. I have been doing some concluding since I returned for this last semester here, but my mind started to become bombarded with thoughts about the situations that I have experienced and the many people who I’ve met during my collegiate career. I embarked away from my home in Los Angeles, hoping to come to a breathtaking college and learn as much as I could, well you could say it has been anything but wonderful and I’ve learned more about people than I have about radio production or any other course. They say experience is your best teacher. That quote is rather intense and it is very true: experience is the best teacher. Before the summer, I decided that there were many issues plaguing my life that needed to be resolved and I came to the conclusion lately that I have a lot of dead weight in my life. I found myself focusing on friendships and relationships rather than focusing on the real picture: my destiny and my purpose. When I arrived to this college, I met a group of people, who I have come to know as close associates, since I do not use the friend denotation, first and foremost, because friendships does not exist in my opinion. The thing that strikes me is how much I have grown over just 3 & ½ years and much of my growth has been stimulated by the experiences that have been thrown my way. I set out this year after receiving much revelation, to remove the dead weight from my life. I had wondered about the so-called friendships I had with the people who I was somehow drawn to when I came to college. After searching through the depths of my mind, the question still remained: who can I truly count on? What person really has my best interest at heart? Sounds kind of selfish, I know, but you’d be surprised at how much revelation those questions can have. You begin to pray about the people you socialize with and wonder if they are doing your life any good. I started to question people’s motives and actions, and especially after being left behind by the so-called friends I had on several occasions. I even questioned my grandmother, who always gives me such wise statements as to people. She told me that I need not consult with such people; that they were hindering my purpose and stopping me from moving on. It kind of sounded rather far-fetched. How could all of the people I’d met when I first came here, suddenly change and turn? The answer was evident: I have been walking around with blinders on for the past 3 & ½ years and the blinders began to come off this past year. I have to give praise to God for taking the blinders off because I have been walking around with my head in the sand for a long time now and finally I have confirmation as to the dead weight in my life and it stunned me because I thought it was these people and it turned out to be these other people. It pays to pray as God opens your eyes to many things that you couldn’t otherwise see. The question now becomes: how do you back away from people whom you’ve hung around with for 3 & ½ years? How do you just end an associate-ship just like that? The answer is basically this: just do it and that is what I have done and what I will do because as of 12:00 this afternoon, I have deleted numbers from my phone and will be removing rubbish from my life so I can move on.

Black: A Dissertation (Part II)

We must investigate why it is that Black people have some how become the meager minimum race. Why have we allowed ourselves to slip to be looked at as the bottom of the barrel? I began to probe profoundly into African American memoirs and I found that it all started when the Black race started to be seen as the lesser group of Americans back during the slavery days. Slavery has been documented in history books and movies, even television series. One famous series, Roots, depicts slavery in a dreadful and slaughterish manner, which brings to light the callousness and vice that exists in our world. It is hard for me to believe that considering how we are all equivalent people – in God’s eyes, that the world has fallen into a psychological pyramid of race. It is kind of like Maslow’s chain of command and the food pyramid one learns in health. You just assign things in certain blocks according to how essential they are – that is how the world has come upon the topic of people. We have classified races and from what I can tell – Caucasians are on top and Blacks and all the rest follow below, with Black being at the foundation of the cask. There is a challenge that every Black person goes through when walking this Earth. I have discussed this with many of my family members and several of them agree that it is fear that provokes other Blacks and other races to judge or discriminate against Black people. Covetousness is also rife because being Black is being uncommon from other shades of skin color. Anything different is seen as a quandary in our society, which is why there is so much hate and violence in the world. If we could all just get along, there would not be such atrocious manifestations of carnage in the world. I often wonder if the world will ever be passive or utopic due to the fearful citizens that roam the third planet from the sun. Can you imagine how the world would be if this was utopia? Will Blacks ever get the prospect to glisten through the gloom of this xenophobic humanity...?

Black: A Dissertation (Part I)

Welcome to the exciting world of the Black. A decrepit and tumultuous riveting experience living and surviving in racist infested waters. A place where one has to look over their shoulder to make sure no one is following them, or that the elderly lady at the grocery store isn’t clutching her purse. I am wondering when the world is going to see what a treasure we are. The word: Black has always been seen as bleak and morbid, but many cultures see it as zealous and striving. The problem then arises because the world has turned the image of Black people upside down. We have been set as the substratum or the inferior being to everyone else. No matter what we have or attempt to attain, we are seen as second-rate. Some kind of decaying compost that rots in a garbage can. It all started way back during the slave trade when we were beaten because of the tint of our skin. No other race had ever seen such splendid complexions: brown, caramel, chocolate; it just didn’t exist in the paltry and confined minds that people had. Having endured 500 years of slavery, you would think that we’d deserve some kind of acknowledgment for having endured such grimy conditions and being whipped, but the world has an even more fastidious view of us as a people. This is due primarily to the tainting of the media and the rubbish written in history books. Black people, primarily, Black men are seen as gangstas and bums, niggerish and illiterate weed smokers who walk the streets of major metropolitan cities. But that is only a minimal amount. Most Black men and Black people covet to get up out of their neighborhoods and do something with their lives, despite the wonderful images that are put on display daily. The conundrum here is how to rectify the view that America has about African Americans. We cannot speak unless we are told to. We are treated like dogs waiting for a T-bone. We have definitely come a long way from the “yesssurs” and the days of mopping and fixing cornbread and ham hocks, but we have not come far. Black people have not progressed too much. My generation has become contented and unaware. The late 80s babies, now full-fledged adults are running around puffing Black & Milds, waiting for that next drink and shakin their booties in the club instead of trying to reestablish the image that the world views us in. My generation is constantly waiting for reparations and handouts, instead of being willing & able to work for it. We expect to be handed something on a silver platter. The generation is so horrible now that young kids are searching for that next hit or being initiated in gangs because their mothers are strung out or working two or three jobs just to put food on the table. Blackness has become a culture. We pride ourselves on talking bad English and wearing clothing that hangs below our waists. We are striving to emulate hip hop artists who now brainwash the youth into thinking this is the life. This is what my culture has turned into. The world is training us Black folk to stay mediocre and feed off of the festering world we live in, but none of us are doing anything about it. Each and everyone of us who sits around not questioning and challenging what is going on around us, is becoming yet another statistic and clinging to a putrefied environment…..

What Is Going On Is Making Me Wanna Holler Part Five

Well, the recovery efforts have started. Good. It took them long enough to do considering 80% of a city is underwater. I think they got the remaining people out of the city, which is a positive thing. This thing seems to be yielding encouraging results. I guess Ray Nagin’s comments really put a dent in Bush’s ego cause he didn’t get-a-movin till Nagin’s comments were played on CNN. Did you catch how CNN played them every chance they got? Every show had a sound bite from it, which was attention-grabbing – almost too good to be true. So now we move to Bush and his denial that the slowness of this whole debacle was so prevalent to every US citizen and to the world @ large. He issued a statement “the storm didn’t discriminate, neither will the recovery effort,” (Yahoo News – 52 Minutes Ago, Jennifer Loven). My English composition teachers will probably hate that I didn’t quote that right, but you get my point. Go to Yahoo News and look it up. Why is Bush talking about this still? Just drain the H2O and get to the clean up. Mr. Clean should do the trick or perhaps some Ajax. Use Ajax the foaming cleanser bum, bum, bum – sorry got a little sidetracked there with the jingle for the Ajax cleanser. I don’t know how I remember that. So, we now just sit back and let the resurgence efforts take place. Did you hear there are rescued people complaining about their possessions that are still lying in half-dried E.Coli infested water in their homes? If I were them, I wouldn’t be worried about my Toshiba television or my child’s X-Box; I’d be glad the hurricane didn’t obliterate ME out. I still am puzzled as to how they come up with names for these storms and hurricanes. Andrew, Ivan, Katrina, Ophelia. What did they just open a baby name book & get-to-pickin? Although, Katrina, now that name is just so invigorating isn’t it? KATRINA, sounds like a villainess’ name from a comic book doesn’t it. Katrina, make sure you roll your tongue on the R it makes it sound better. It sounds like a soap opera character’s name also. They did downgrade Michael Brown – so I deduce someone had to take the fall for the reaction to this calamity. I hope the new person who took over Brown’s duties will move swiftly to the needs of the city. Man – now I can’t apply to Tulane for Law School. Although, who knows by next year they may have 65% of the city back to normal or at least running with power. I was so looking forward to the crawfish and hot sauce and the jazz. What am I going to do now, buy some from Giant and pop in a Wynton Marsalis cd? I guess so.

As The Age Turns

I am officially 21 years old today. It doesn’t feel any different, except for the fact that I am now legal and am officially an adult in the eyes of 5-0. My day began with me pressing the snooze button a few times, missing class and then proceeding to pick up my car from a family friend’s house. Afterwards, I drank two Lipton raspberry teas and proceeded to attend one of my classes. I just kind of drove around the district hoping to feel different about being older, but I didn’t. I ended up spending about $45 at Whole Foods today buying all sorts of healthy foods. You know a brotha’s tryin 2 live healthy these days since African Americans are prone to diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol issues. I am learning to love Silk and am damn proud of the fact that I can purchase mostly everything from Whole Foods – almost everything. I came back and sat in my room watching television and listening to many, many messages from friends and family wishing me a happy birthday. I laughed of course, when my aunt proceeded to sing Happy Birthday into the phone and told me “she couldn’t resist.” Gotta love family. My evening consisted of the following: I received a call from my friend, Chev, at around 7:30 and we stood outside of the Towers waiting for Claudia and then she finally came out at about 8:00. No I’m kidding, it was about 7:35ish. Then we went to Chinatown and found a nice spot in front of one of those pleasant restaurants on the corner; only to discover that you couldn’t park in that spot between the hours of 6:30 PM and 11:59PM. 11:59 – that was a first, usually it’s 12. A beggar yelled at us from across the street and told us to come get the spot over there so Chev proceeded to park his car in that spot. The beggar then put the quarters in there for him. Claudia knew right away that he was looking for money but he didn’t ask. We then walked to Haagen Daaz – I hope that’s spelled right for copyright sake. A Bailey’s Shake did the trick for me and dented my wallet seis dollares y cincuenta y nueva centes. On the way there, another random man interrupted us and told Chev that he ought to ask Claudia’s hand in matrimony, not marriage, but matrimony. What is this the 1920s? We’s not in Cotton Club or jump jivin and wailin now is we? And then he told Chev & I that we “are the two sons he never had by the third wife he never married.” Funny stuff – of course, he only wanted mula. As we walked into the movie theater, we suddenly felt the sleepy drowsy feeling that most Black folk get after they eat known as the itis. We did watch the movie, which wasn’t half bad with its headbutts and pen in throat commotion. I give it a 7 & ½. It’s not the gook and gore Craven is known for but it was somewhat enthralling. After the movie, Chev dropped Claudia and I off and I proceeded back into the Towers to listen to more messages from family and friends. I just finished pouring some Orange Kiwi Passion Juice and I am smiling knowing that I lived another year and my life is still turning and still having more bittersweet and memorable parts. With that said, I’ve got 2 minutes to publish this blog before my birthday is over, so peace be with you – reader.

Life has many parts, I haven’t wrote this in awhile. It feels pretty good.

Poetry Corner

What a tragic world we live in,
Where people pretend and call themselves a Godsend,
Corrupted governments and crooked politicians,
Who care more about their bank account,
Than a body count,
There is so much strife in the land,
And no one seems to have a plan,
The harsh reality is you can’t just live free,
So much confusion,
Yet no solution,
People are quick to point a finger as to who gets the blame,
But things just remain the same,
Whites judge Blacks, Blacks judge Whites,
Blacks judge Blacks,
Everyone judging everyone else,
We as a nation need HELP,
Everyone would rather be an enemy than a friend,
In this country so controlled by brainwashing cerebrums,
To be prolific and gifted is really considered stupid and dumb,
In our own communities and environments,
People kill and steal and then lament,
So much hate in the land of the free Home of the Brave,
Cigarettes, drugs, sex, $$ and alcohol seem to be all we crave,
Where do we draw the line?
We need to unite together,
Now is the time
-KJ

What Is Going On Is Making Me Wanna Holler Part Four

It just keeps getting more and more amusing to the audible ears. Our focus has shifted from relief for Americans to a focus on skin color, as if skin color should matter considering how one cannot control Mother Nature. There are so many people fearing that America and the world will know the underlying truth: that Blacks are still seen as 3/5 of a person or that sambo pickaninny chowin down on a chicken leg and gnawing at watermelon. There is a perception that is roasted in the minds of many non-Blacks that we are dysfunctional, unsavory characters who deserve brutality and discrimination and it is still going on in 2005. I was surprised to see the governor Blanco as coherent as to give an order to “shoot to kill” the looters. Somehow she mustered up enough breath to utter those words although she couldn’t quite rummage up what was going on earlier last week. I have found this to be very nauseating – just the pure ignorance that exists in this country that focuses so dominantly on the tint of one’s casing. Now, they are urging people to get out of New Orleans as if they can just hop in a car and carouse out of the state. Rep. Elijah Cummings talked with Lou Dobbs tonight on CNN and it appeared as if someone got him because his statements were not as thought-provoking and what the government has considered inflammatory. Kanye West better watch his back cause I’m sure daddy, mama and junior Bush are going to put a hit out on him (or at least cripple his financial status). The Louis Vuitton Don betta “Touch The Sky” and beg that his career isn’t ruined or he’ll find himself in Sierra Leone digging diamonds and humming his own tune. It’s a shame that anyone who isn’t Black can say whatever the fuck they feel like saying, but when I dare say anything it is seen as bad conduct. I am outraged at this deceptive government which considers itself for the people – for anyone but Black people. Someone needs to pull out the Constitution and re-read the guidelines outlined in that document. Some people consider that Blacks are not doing anything themselves – that we as a race are our own enemies but that is just pure poppycock to shift the discussion on our own issues instead of dealing with the real issue here as to the fact that racism still exists and is even more prevalent today than it was back in dem SLAVRY DAZE.

What Is Going On Is Making Me Wanna Holler Part Three

Trouble is brewing now because everyone is looking to point a finger at the culprit as if this is a game of Clue where one is trying to solve the crime. Apparently, the White House is trying to shift the blame to FEMA, as if FEMA runs the country. The White House is trying to cover its tracks so people do not riot over this, putting the blame on lower levels of government as if he has no control over who does what. I am sorry but isn’t he the President, does he not have the power to dictate what goes on and when? I thought that was what the executive branch does – or did my 6th grade teacher misteach me back in elementary school? I guess Social Studies wasn’t as wonderful as it appeared to be. I see them trying to put the blame on the governor of Louisiana instead of taking responsibilities for their actions and dealing with them like grown ups. I mean Gov. Blanco, whenever she appeared, apparently had different clothes on, which would indicate that she has been bathing. I am not sure if she has even so much as walked down the abyss of the Bourbon Street or even touched the destruction that lies near Canal Street, but who I am, this is just what CNN & Fox News (such loyal networks to the government) are showing. Judge Rehnquist died last night of throat cancer. He had been battling it for a long time. Justice Rehnquist served as Supreme Court Judge for 33 years, and was appointed by Ronald Reagan. Rehnquist was known as a conservative judge, who weighed his opinion in on whether President Clinton had sexual relations with Lewinsky. Now, President Clinton was about the best President we’ve had since I was eating Gerber, so in my opinion, Rehnquist was not such a good judge. He held on by a thread of breath. Gosh – that sounds so harsh, but I mean he contributed to the impeaching of a good President, who despite his hornyness, did some wonderful things for minorities such as myself and for America @ large. Condi Rice is visiting her home state of Alabama, to convince the Alabamians that Bush did his best to resolve their destruction and lack of food and drink. Good job Condi, just what more of us Black folks need is a Black woman who does what she is told and is just as to blame as the rest of them for not acting accordingly. They say actions speak louder than words, so the government is saying one thing but doing another. Luckily, they are rescuing the people and the people have been fed, but I am surprised that it took so long, aren’t you?

What Is Going On Is Making Me Wanna Holler Part Two

So last night, there was a benefit concert for the victims of Hurricane Katrina and Kanye West decided to speak his opinion about the goings on of how the situation was being handled. Apparently, the networks were not able to catch his sudden outbursts about the government, specifically the President’s lackadaisical attitude towards the situation and how he suddenly after the mayor of Louisiana’s comments claimed that there wasn’t enough being done. Why did it take negative commentary for the government to do what they were supposed to do? I am sure if a Congressman’s daughter was swimming and marinating in their own ca-ca and smelling like back alley piss, someone would have moved a little quicker. As for Kanye, I hope the poor boy hasn’t hurt his career with his inflammatory comments about Bush’s handling of the situation. It would suck if he did – because then he’d had to figure a way out of the upheaval, with the help of H to the Izzo V to the Izza. I wonder how long it is going to take for them to rebuild New Orleans considering 80% of it is drowning in melted ice (water for all of you people who didn’t take science or for those of you who have selective memory on solids and liquids). I wonder how NBC will handle the comments by Kanye West. Kanye might have to call his next album – The Industry Dropout because of his illustrious wordage. NBC is hoping that Kanye’s comments will not affect how the American public feels about donating and helping or how Bush is viewed. I doubt if it will because any rational person has already formed in their mind how they feel about the situation and whether it was handled the way it should have been handled. Matt Lauer, from NBC’s Today, quietly calmed the comments by stating "emotions in this country right now are running very high. Sometimes that emotion is translated into inspiration, sometimes into criticism. We've heard some of that tonight. But it's still part of the American way of life," (Yahoo TV News – 9/03/05). Apparently, after Kanye made the comments, they cut to Chris Tucker. I guess NBC felt they had to cut to the good nigger. No offense to Tucker in anyway. There will be more downsizing @ NBC over the next few days because someone wasn’t minding the scripts and paying attention to the benefit concert. Why did they get Lauer to comment on Kanye’s comments? I am not downing Lauer, although, it may seem like I am, but unless you are an African American who has not dipped itself into some Jerseymaid Milk and become an Oreo, you cannot comment on how one should feel or what one’s emotions are translated. This is a messssssssssssssssssss!!!!! and it’s just gettin’ started.

What Is Going On Is Making Me Wanna Holler Part One

In the aftermath of the cataclysmic tragedy known as Hurricane Katrina, there has been speculation as to how the federal government handled the abysmal situation. For the past few days, I have been observing the mouth dropping coverage on CNN. It would appear that the response to this has been nothing but a joke. Why did it take the government so long to respond to something that happened within the world when two days after the tsunami, America responded with boldness, yet this tragedy was on American soil. The Congressional Black Caucus believes that the delaying tactics by the government to provide nourishment to the dying and struggling citizens of Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama have been because of race. I agree. If New Orleans was not a predominately African American town, then the response would have been as fast as Brink Security responds to the burglars who are trying to break in. I saw this more clearly in the expressions and the callous and blurred answers many of the government officials were giving when being interviewed by CNN newscasters and the response by the mayor of Louisiana. Even in 2005, we are dealing with racism and you’d think that the worst tragedy in American history would put a hold on the racism; it has just strengthened the ignorance of people and pulled the curtain back on how far we have come from the days of discrimination and segregation – not much. No one would let Billy, Joe or Suzy marinate in their feces but it is okay for Hakeem, Precious and Tiffany to die of exhaustion and malnutrition. That sounds kind of racist I know, but that is what has been presented to the human eye. So, now today they deployed food and water to the citizens still remaining in Louisiana….it’s about time. Took them long enough and no one seems to fathom the consequences of waiting to distribute nourishment to the people. They are focusing on the looting and the shooting and the rapes and bedlam, but they need to be focusing on getting those people out of that state ASAP. Just like our country – to focus on the wrong thing – even in the midst of tragedy. And then they are talking about starting the draft because they might need to bring the troops in Iraq back to Louisiana. So now I have to stop attending Computers & Society and Humanities to lay my life on the line for a racist country and a government that showed itself once again in the response to this event. I am not interested in wearing army fatigues to fight in a war for $$$. I donated $25 to the Red Cross because my heart was starting to break when I was watching the elderly people and the children being without formula and diapers. I might donate some more because I would want someone to do that for me if I had to deal with this pandemonium. I am not done here; but I need to give my eyes a break from this computer.